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Feeling lonely

(8 Posts)
Patheticfallacy Fri 22-Jul-16 11:07:56

I'm feeling lonely at the moment and need a bit of support. I don't have many friends and I'm a single parent to 3 dc. Over the holidays I'm off with them and they are only at their dads every other weekend. It's a long time trying to keep everyone happy and they fight with each other all the time.
I'm tired and need support. My boyfriend is struggling with his own issues and has withdrawn from me. I'm not sure what to do with myself. I can't seem to find joy in anything at the moment and people in real life are tired of talking about it/busy with their own lives/don't know what to say.

Patheticfallacy Fri 22-Jul-16 11:36:24

Is anyone aboutsad

Helloooomeee Fri 22-Jul-16 11:40:41

flowers how old are the dc? I know what it feels like to be lonely even in the company of others sad

Patheticfallacy Fri 22-Jul-16 11:41:31

Thank you for the reply. They are 6, 8 and 10. I just feel low.

Helloooomeee Fri 22-Jul-16 12:03:05

They're still young enough to need a fair bit of input and its ok to feel the sense of doom at the start of the summer holidays! wink Try to plan one thing everyday to get you and them out of the house and one thing every day for yourself. It is important to take time for yourself if you're feeling a bit low and vulnerable.

Use mumsnet to get you feelings out if needed. No one has to read them but you'll feel better just getting it out.

autumnleaves123 Fri 22-Jul-16 12:17:53

Hi OP, I know where you are coming from. I think that most parents, especially mums, have felt like that over the course of our parenting lives.

I have a husband, but I still feel terribly lonely some days - he works very long hours so I'm the one with the kids most of the time in the hols - , more so in the summer, when you spend days on end with the kids, trying to keep them busy and entertained, doing always things for them and very little for yourself. Being a mum can be a lonely place sometimes. It might be the case that tomorrow you meet another mum or friend and not feel like that anymore, but we always hit that place when we look around us, and it feels terribly lonely and isolated.

It's easy to give advice on the lines of trying to put yourself out there more, but even that can be tiring and not rewarding a lot of the time. We need people on the same wavelength as us, people who get us, who give us comfort, not just people around us. And that's really hard to find when you have children and they come first. Our energy levels, what we can give in terms of time and mental space is very restricted when you are a parent. More so when you are single parent.

Take it easy on yourself, OP. Try not to put too much pressure on your social life. Just enjoy being in your own company for a bit, having a cup of tea, baking a cake, reading a book, watching a film. Try to give yourself for a moment that comfort and company that you might need from others. Somebody will come at some point and give you that, but in the meantime, try to give that little gesture of love to yourself, and don't think it's less worthy because it comes from you.

And post here too! Mumsnet is a great place to feel less lonely smile

Patheticfallacy Fri 22-Jul-16 12:21:37

Thank you both. I think I am a bit depressed too so I don't have the energy to think about improving things either.

Stargazing25 Fri 22-Jul-16 16:52:34

I hear ya OP!

Hubby works long hours and I'm off now with two squabbling children aged 7 and 9. We're going away for a week next week but after that I'm trying to make an inexpensive plan for the remaining weeks.

I think it's good to get out as much as possible so that the kids can run off their energy. Do you have local places that you can go?

We are quite fortunate here on the Surrey/London borders for countryside and city things to do.

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