First time poster: please feel free to move this thread if in the wrong place!
Summary: What is a sensible stance on relationships when grown up (21+) children still live at home?
I am 25 years old am currently living at my family home with my parents. I moved away for university at 19, returned home permanently at 23. I have since worked and am now back at university doing my masters.
I have been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend (26) for 6 months. He also lives with his parents nearby.
My parents have always had a rule since I was a teenager that I was not allowed to stay overnight at bf's house (in same room) and vice versa. This was a mainly painless rule as a teenager as spending time in the day/evening was sufficient for my teenage romances. And honestly I was quite shy and did not want to bump into someone else's parents in the kitchen in the morning! And then moving away for uni gave me the independence to make my own judgements etc.
This rule still stands now that I live at home again. So I have never spent the night at my bf's house (in any room) and he has never slept at my house. My mum has always believed that as a daughter I would be open to much more criticism for spending the night (especially from bf's parents) and that I would risk being considered "that type of girl".
Everybody gets on well with each other so this is not just a consequence of someone disliking somebody else.
I don't want to raise the issue of teenage relationships and parents' rules - I would like to know how parenting changes when children are grown up but still live at home? Is this an unreasonable rule while I still live at home?
(N.B. I pay no rent at home and studying is fully funded by parents; boyfriend lives at home to save money)
Additionally, I do not know how to approach the subject with my mum (who is more in charge of the "house rules" than my dad) without the conversation descending into a teenage-style argument?
It does impact negatively on my relationship as it feels like we both cannot be trusted. We are both frustrated with getting out of bed and driving me home after having a very normal couple evening together. I also think he takes it personally that he is somehow not good enough (absolutely not true).
If I could understand the reasoning behind this more, it would help. So any advice and all opinions are appreciated.
Although I am only talking about the actual act of falling asleep/waking up together (not sex - we have sex in bed in the evening like normal people and then I go home. Not very romantic) it does feel like something is missing if you can't do that with somebody you love.
Any ideas?
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Relationships
Living at home with parents - dating and relationship rules?
PlumPixie · 22/07/2016 04:06
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