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Judicial separation vs divorce

(11 Posts)
GoldenOrb Thu 21-Jul-16 19:11:15

Has anyone done a judicial separation rather than a divorce and could share their experience with me?

GoldenOrb Thu 21-Jul-16 23:30:28

I guess it's true that they are pretty rare then!

MrsBertBibby Thu 21-Jul-16 23:52:29

Why are you considering JS?

Incognita82 Thu 21-Jul-16 23:56:08

They are quite rare and I was told normally on religious grounds.

I considered this seriously for IHT reasons but did not go through with it because you cannot get a transfer of interests in a pension with a JS. Ultimately I think it was right to go for divorce. JS keeps you tied together and there comes a point when you just need to move on.

GoldenOrb Fri 22-Jul-16 08:40:30

Thanks incognita for your reply. I would be looking to divorce eventually (for pension reason as much as anything) so am also coming to the conclusion that a js wouldn't be right. H wants it because he is Catholic.

LisaMed1 Fri 22-Jul-16 09:28:51

How difficult is he likely to be? Is he likely to be resistant to divorce and fight it every step?

If so it may be worth getting him to pay for it (as he is the one who wants it) and then sitting it out for five years and then filing for divorce. There is no way of opposing divorce after five years separation, the date on the js will show clearly when you separated so he can't argue with it, and you can finish off the financials then.

That may be a tactic to get physical and mental space. However, if you go the js route make sure that he is not using that as a tactic to stall with a view to getting you back together. Put the boundaries in very firmly. If you don't think that he will respect the js, I would go for the divorce.

Incognita82 Fri 22-Jul-16 11:39:48

Just one other thing to watch out for, I can't now remember the exact advice I got on this, but if one of you might be transferring an interest in your house to the other, that needs to be done within 12 months of the date of separation or you pay CGT on the transferred portion if the house had risen in value for the date you bought it.

This applies in both JS and divorce but is obviously more likely to be a problem in a JS because of the time lag until divorce. Article here

Worth just double checking with your solicitor.

GoldenOrb Tue 26-Jul-16 16:44:29

Lisa i think he would be difficult about a divorce. He is very adamant he doesn't want it, doesn't believe in it, and that if I file on grounds of unreasonable behaviour that he feels are untrue then he will contest it. I want it to be over and so feel that as he wants the js and the outcome initially is the same (I get financial independence and the hell away from him) then it might be worth agreeing to it and then getting a divorce later. My family think I am being ridiculous and should get a divorce straight away, because "what if I meet someone and want to get remarried?". That is absolutely the last thing on my mind just now. I have no plans to ever, ever go through this again.

LisaMed1 Thu 28-Jul-16 09:29:01

I am not familiar with js, but I would suggest at the moment that you file, get him to pay for js, make sure it's water tight, make sure you have a will leaving anything of yours away from him, check things like pensions, get serious legal advice and get it done

After five years from the date of the js file for the divorce on the grounds of five years separation. He can't contest it.

It is almost impossible to contest a divorce, btw, you could almost certainly get a divorce on unreasonable behaviour and any solicitor your husband engaged would tell him that the game isn't worth the candle. However it would be expensive, stressful and wearing. After five years apart you may feel more able to deal with it.

The only thing - once you have got the js, stick to it. Fight really, really, really hard to keep away from him, don't let him inch in, keep it all separate because any way he can show any reconciliation (or anything that can be interpreted as reconciliation) will undermine the application for divorce due to five years separation. Besides, you are obviously desperate to get away. Use the js like a shield. Tell him it's legal, you have to stay separate now!

Take some serious legal advice, but from the sound of it you need to do whatever you can to get out.

MrsBertBibby Thu 28-Jul-16 10:36:52

I would really strongly advise against JS from what you say here. It means doing (and paying for) the whole mess twice, and my clients generally are very clear once was more than enough.

He won't be able to successfully defend your UB petition if it is drafted well. If he tries he will get stuck with costs. He just wants to be difficult, I very much doubt he'll turn all constructive just because it is JS not divorce.

Don't let him bully you out of a proper divorce, and a proper share of his pensions, which may well be what this is really all about.

GoldenOrb Mon 01-Aug-16 22:11:10

Bert thanks for your reply. The whole doing it twice thing really resonated. Thos is bad enough now, you are right that i don't want to have to go through it all again in the future.

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