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Boyfriend changed behavior very quickly - is he cheating

(16 Posts)
user1469103274 Thu 21-Jul-16 13:24:42

So my boyf is 27 im 25 and weve been together 8 months and he as a little boy whos 3. He sees him regularly and I also see him and have for the past 4 months.

Everything has been fine and happy for the past 7 months better than I've ever had before. Had the best memories. All ive done is be open and honest and loyal with him.

The past few weekends weve had out first ever little arguments and fall outs. Nothing major.

Hes now asked for space and time because he said he his not happy and doesnt know what he wants anymore. the problem is he has been going AWOL for hours and ignoring me , even when i had crashed my car. He said he was somewhere , and facebook had checked him in somewhere else. Then i found out he had added my sister in laws , sister on snapchat and has been talking to her about us even though hes only met her once. Hes been very sneaky with his phone , changed his passcode and wont let go of it. He swears theres no one else.

The doubt i have in my head is when we got together we started talking on snapchat and his score keeps going up and up and up everyday. We also started talking after a very very short period of time after he split with his ex. and his sister has told me that when they split up he used to ignore her and go AWOL.

So when i add all this up i cant help but think he has intentions of being with someone else , is talking to someone else and is maybe stringing me along now until he decides what he wants. Hes just become to sneaky ! To top it off he just randomly deleted his facebook at the start of the week ?

Any advice would be much appreciated !

TempusEedjit Thu 21-Jul-16 13:50:16

Sorry this is happening to you. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck...

stopfuckingshoutingatme Thu 21-Jul-16 13:57:31

he has someone else, and its over. I know that's harsh, but think of the pride and satisfaction if you just decide

I wont text him
I will block him actually, as he is a cheating cunt - the evidence heads one way only
Its over- grieve and move on

and let him waft away, like a shitty little balloon X

ElspethFlashman Thu 21-Jul-16 14:00:59

Yeah, you're just a placeholder. He's already interviewing for replacements. If it's any consolation, he seems to have form for it so don't take it too personally. He'll probably do it to the next girl too.

Get out whilst your dignity is still intact.

user1469103274 Thu 21-Jul-16 14:24:59

So i know this is awful but i managed to hack into his icloud account yesterday and therefore his emails and contacts.

I didn't see anything on there to suggest someone else at all. When he had facebook he would get email notifications if he got a message and they were only from family members. All the contacts in his address were legit and very few numbers to be fair. He obviously doesn't have facebook anymore. The only thing i could think of is snapchat if he is talking to someone else or imessages but i didn't manage to see them !

Do you think im putting two and two together ? Or should i trust my gut. I just feel like hes screwing me around with this whole i need space and its making me ill not knowing whats going on.

SandyY2K Thu 21-Jul-16 14:25:03

What did he actually say about you to your SILs sister?

That aside his attitude isn't that of a man who's into you anymore. Just move along and be done with him.

ElspethFlashman Thu 21-Jul-16 14:27:32

I need space = I'm not that into you.

Whether there's anyone else or not, it's just a matter of time before this dies a death. He's over it.

honeyroar Thu 21-Jul-16 14:37:28

IT doesn't really matter whether there's someone else or not. He's not behaving like someone who likes you and cherishes your relationship. That's enough to walk away from him too. If you're resorting to hacking accounts and snooping you're not in a good place. It's not worth it.

molyholy Thu 21-Jul-16 14:44:43

You don't trust him. Why would you torture yourself like this? It's so unhealthy. Don't let him treat you like a mug. Block and move on.

Farfromtheusual Thu 21-Jul-16 14:52:13

Been there, done that with an ex. Would go awol, stop calling and texting without warning and I would be sat around going crazy wondering what I had done wrong, waiting for him to call me.. He would eventually (I think 3 weeks was the longest) and I would just go running back like an idiot and we would carry on like nothing had happened. I finally said enough is enough and left him for good and that honestly was the best thing I ever did.

Just end it, its not worth agonising over. You will be happier for it in the long run. He obviously doesn't respect you.

user1469103274 Thu 21-Jul-16 14:57:41

He had said to her that we had fallen out. And they've spoken since but my SIL sister has shown me the messages and it was mainly her asking why he is doing this to me as im so upset and he gave her the same response that he needs space to think.

user1469103274 Thu 21-Jul-16 14:58:43

He has suffered from anixety and depression in the past and he has said he is scared of getting like that again and he cant afford to because he has a son.

honeyroar Thu 21-Jul-16 19:41:51

And now he's giving you anxiety and depression...

You can't make somebody love you. Let him go. If he wants you he will make an effort. He's not.x

DoreenLethal Thu 21-Jul-16 19:50:14

If you have to safecrack someone's emails after 8 months then the relationship is not worth pursuing anyway.

oneishab Thu 21-Jul-16 20:00:21

Sounds like my story.Before the abuse starts. Ive been away from my husband for a yr now. Sometimes i feel sad and miss him but every day i get stronger. Is the misery u are going through really worth it? He is well aware of the pain this is causing u. But he doesnt care..its all about him wantin space. He will have a turnaround in about 4 months time and expect u to be there waiting. Ever so loyal. What about ur happiness? We deserve better x

Purpleheinz Thu 21-Jul-16 21:09:18

The fact you're watching his snap score & hacking into his iCloud makes you look like a complete crackpot.

He might be cheating but that doesn't justify your snooping.

8 months in...

Write this one off & get with someone you feel secure enough not to keep tabs on.

Imagine a man posted this? The uproar !

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