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Don't know what to do...... Left hanging

(9 Posts)
Peel3912 Wed 20-Jul-16 21:32:08

I met a guy 11 months ago and was instantly drawn to him, not his looks but it felt like I reached into his soul. The more we talked the more we realised how similar we are and what similar lives we have led.

Whenever I am around him, I feel instantly calm and I know I do with him too. He has referred to me as his angel many a time. I always had the feeling I'd known him forever and he said the same.

He split up with his girlfriend 6 weeks ago (I split up with my boyfriend 3 months ago) and we have gotten closer than just flirty friends. I went on holiday with him and his dad for a few days. We constantly message or call each other.

9 days ago his ex turned up at his flat, and I've hardly heard from him since. He said it's complicated. I've told him we can't be friends if they get back together as I knew how unhappy he was for years, how she manipulates him, self harms herself etc it's not a healthy environment for him,

I miss him terribly for not seeing him or not really getting any messages. Only saying that he's a mess.

I literally can't stop crying, being signed off work with stress and I'm a bit of a mess myself.

Any advise would be welcomed.

bigbumbrunette Wed 20-Jul-16 21:38:31

I'm sorry you're heartbroken but honestly, I think you've been played. In the space of 42 days you've been on holiday with him?
Delete, block, ignore. Give yourself time to grieve for whatever he's told you life could be like with him and pick that chin up and find someone who's available x

WellErrr Wed 20-Jul-16 21:42:50

I got to the start of your third paragraph and just went 'oh FFS.'

Anyone carrying on like this whilst in a relationship is no prize. Getting signed off with stress over this is ridiculous.

Cut contact with him, move on, and seek counselling to discover why you've reached like this.

AnyFucker Wed 20-Jul-16 21:44:01

Oh dear

Give yourself a slap, love. This is quite ridiculous behaviour from you.

smilingeyes11 Wed 20-Jul-16 21:46:34

reached into his soul?

You had an emotional affair, he then thought he may dump her for you but found it didn't turn out like he hoped so ran back to her.

Where is your self esteem? It is all just a bit grubby and unpleasant. I bet his poor ex doesn't know what has been going on for the last 11 months does she.

HuskyLover1 Wed 20-Jul-16 21:49:17

So, let me get this right, he was flirting with you and calling you his angel, when he was still with his GF? What a catch (not). Now his GF is back on the scene, and you've been dropped like a hot potato. And you are so stressed you can't go to work? Look, if you get in to a relationship, it is meant to enhance your life. That's kind of the whole point. This guy doesn't do that. He's dicking you about. Cut him loose. He's just one penis in this world, which is awash with penises. Pick another one.

toadgirl Wed 20-Jul-16 21:49:40

How old are you?
How many relationship have you previously had?

If you are a bit young and naive, then I'm afraid you've likely learned your first, very painful lesson. I think you've been played. At best, you've been with a guy who doesn't know what the hell he wants.

You definitely shouldn't feel this cut up about someone like this (but I understand how you do). You need to give yourself another 48 hours of wallowing and then GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. Start making a great new life for yourself. When this guy comes crawling back (and I have a feeling he will), you won't give a damn anymore.

Good luck flowers

MollyTwo Wed 20-Jul-16 21:50:02

Give yourself a slap, love. This is quite ridiculous behaviour from you.

Lol this! You sound so immature.

SlowJinn Wed 20-Jul-16 22:01:04

Oh you poor thing, this is a complete overreaction and you must realise this. You have both been in relationships until recently but it sounds as if you have had an emotional affair for several months, all this soulmate stuff - you know it's rubbish, right? You were using him as an escape route from a relationship you wanted out of, and he hasn't lived up to your ideals. He's probably still in love with his former girlfriend, particularly if she has mental health issues (no-one self-harms for fun) and wants to help her.

Go back to work. Get your life back on track and stop thinking that this guy is something special, something otherworldly. He's just a bloke. With a girlfriend.

Move on. Move away perhaps. But cut contact!

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