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Can I throw my husband out?

(11 Posts)
limon Tue 19-Jul-16 22:37:12

I am main bread winner. He has been a sahp working one day per week outside the home and evenings on a self employed basis. I put down house deposit and pay mortgage which is in my name. Relationship has broken down irretrievably IMHO. Can't stand to live with him any more. Dd is reception age.

SandyY2K Tue 19-Jul-16 23:05:52

The fact that he's been the primary carer will work in his favour here I believe. Even though the house is in your name, if purchased during the marriage with your income/ money saved during the marriage it would likely be deemed as his house too.

Bearing in mind he could argue that his contribution was taking care of DD, why if you were paying a nursery or childminder would cost quite a bit.

Your best bet is to see a solicitor for definitive answers.

Quimby Tue 19-Jul-16 23:40:35

Why should you be allowed to

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeddaGarbled Wed 20-Jul-16 00:09:45


His contribution to your partnership is looking after your child while you work.

If you want to separate, it is highly probable that he will maintain the primary carer role and you will have to organise whatever contact with your child you can fit around your working hours, normally one night in the week and every other weekend. You could try for 50-50, but how will you manage that with work? You will be expected to pay child maintenance if he has your child more often than you.

Probably the house will have to be sold so that you can split the equity between you. He will probably get a bigger percentage because he is the primary carer and has the smaller income.

limon Wed 20-Jul-16 07:38:45

Ok thanks. I wouldn't say he's primary carer. I work four days a week he works outside the home one day a week and he works at home weekends and evenings while I take care of dd.

The deposit for the house is from an inheritance I got before our relationship.

His behaviour is unreasonable imo with our in the relationship.

I won't be leaving our house so it sounds like we either have to make things work or live separately in the same house.

limon Wed 20-Jul-16 07:40:21

P's he hasn't been bread winner even before we had dd and it was his choice to have our arrangemwnt not mine. He didn't give up work to look after dd. I would find a childminder if he wasn't here.

Bambamrubblesmum Wed 20-Jul-16 07:49:53

He will have a claim on the house whether it's in your name or involved inheritance because it's a marital asset. So if you split then that's something you'll have to think about.

In terms of primary carer I'm not sure a court would agree with you. Just on paper it would appear he is the main carer and sahp so in terms of living requirements that will be taken into consideration.

Crazycatlady83 Wed 20-Jul-16 08:03:43

Are you suggesting if you separate, you would take over the primary carer responsibilities for your dd but instead of taking care of her yourself because of work, you would employ a child minder? It seems unlikely that a court would agree with a situation whereby you replace a parent with a childminder as you suggest, as courts prefer the child to be looked after by a parent if possible. You could consider a shared case arrangement (I.e you look after your dd three days a week and your husband look after her four days a week as the arrangement is now then you could both work?)

As the breadwinner, the court may consider you would be in a better position to rehouse yourself than your husband so he stay in the house or the house will have to be sold so the equity could be shared. Is there enough equity to rehouse both of you?.

Mama1980 Wed 20-Jul-16 08:09:32

He will have a claim on the house. I'm pretty sure the court would say he is the primary carer and as the breadwinner you're in a better position to rehouse yourself. No court would prefer a childminder arrangement to care by a parent.
So basically no you can't at all.

SandyY2K Wed 20-Jul-16 08:14:42

If you don't want the marriage any more, then you should split sooner rather than later, otherwise you as the breadwinner will probably have to pay him spousal support and CS in the future.

Also savings you have acquired will be deemed as marital funds, so at least look into legal seperation.

Have you considered just asking him to leave? Or you could pay him a one off lump sum and he has no claim on the house, subject to him signing an agreement to that effect.

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