Hi all, need some advice on this situation. Just to give you some background I meet my husband 14 years ago and I we have always got on so well. He is very easy to talk to and we just clicked. I obviously met his parents and his elder brother. His brother is very different to my husband and wks often very moody and he is very hit/miss. I was warned prior to meeting his girlfriend that she was also very moody and generally unsocialable. She has never really made an effort with me and barely spoke to me when I used to see her at my in laws house. I admit we are both very different characters where I'm quite outgoing and describe myself as a people person she is quite quiet and blends in the background I suppose.
About 6 months into our relationship I went out for my boyfriends brothers birthday bash along with his girlfriend and mutual friends. She barely spoke to me all evening until my boyfriends brother started talking to me. She threatened me and accused me of sleeping with her boyfriend (my boyfriends brother). We didn't speak for years and my boyfriends brother spoke to me when we went out with mutul friends but told me not to tell his girlfriend.
SIx years ago I got married and she wrote on her Facebook page after the event "thank god that is over!!" After I had fed and watered her all day!
Then her daughter had a birthday party snd wasn't invited but my husband was because she was upset I didnt have her daughter as a bridesmaid at my wedding (I had my very best friend). My husband didn't go to the party out of principle.
I could seriously write a book but in short there will are times when my in laws have family gatherings and she will speak to me and be civil but if I organise any family event she always has an excuse that she can,t make it. For example she missed by daughters birthday party and I gave her another five dates for her and the kids to come over to ours and she still didnt come. It took her two years to see our new house.
This doesn't bother me but now I have children and she doesn't even attend theses events either ie: birthday parties. When my children are involved it is very hurtful to me.
She is not only horrible to me but horrible to my mother and father in law, especially my mother in law. Despite them being very kind and giving to her. She uses her children against them and she hardly lets them see the children unless she needs them to help her out.
She is getting married to my husbands brother and neither my husband, my children or my in laws have been invited.
My in laws have just told me to ignore her but call me weak I don't know how much of this I can take. I am the sort of person that says it as it is but my husband and in laws are very much the sort that don't want to cause an issue.
What do you think I should do? I want to tell them to both keep away from my family but the other part of me that thinks if I do that she will know it has affected me. I find it so hard because I feel that my in laws don't support me.
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Relationships
Horrible relative, not sure how to play it????
mumsrthebest · 19/07/2016 21:02
She sounds self-obsessed and a bit unhinged. My sil is the same...I don't know her at all well and have always been pleasant and polite, but it's all about her and she thinks nothing of firing off childish, rude messages to family members if we do something she doesn't like. Bil defends the daft bint.
Recently I received message out of the blue from her with whole host of accusations against me that had no basis in reality whatsoever. I copied and sent it to bil asking wtf after which both of them blocked me. 
I'm done with it and so too should you be. I won't be making the slightest effort with either of them any more, beyond the bare minimum required to keep my hostility at bay at family gatherings. Pair of arseholes can fuck off.
So... you don't want to upset anybody... she couldn't give a monkey's who she upsets... and you are trying to play nice for everyone?
Yeah! I know that feeling, have a PoisonousSil of my own.
Block her in every way you can. Don't explain anything, just block her.
If anyone asks - in real life or fb etc - just reply "Can't be dealing with the drama"
If anyone says that was a nasty comment reply " It was... but it is how I feel"
Repeat as often as necessary - which won't be anywhere near as often as you might fear!
PoisonousSil is believed to think she has 'won' - won what I am not sure, but as her having won it keeps her well away from my life, I would be happy for a rematch, so I can lose it again and keep her even further away 
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