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Feeling inadequate: can it work long term?

(4 Posts)
Roundandroundandround Tue 19-Jul-16 06:35:25

I've been dating a guy for about 4 months now that I met online. I'm 27 and he is 29.

For the most part things are good; he is away a lot (with work and various commitments at the weekends which seem to take him all over the place) but we usually message each other every day and on average see each other once / twice per week; including a weekend evening if we are both free.

My issue is that we are from very different backgrounds and as a result our lives are very different; this is making me feel insecure and I'm not sure if it can work.

He went to a prestigious school abroad and as a result is well travelled with friends all over the world, who all seem to be very successful. He now has a great job with lots of perks.

In contrast I went to the local comprehensive with a family that all live in the same town. I have worked extremely hard to get where I am today (own house, car, left town I grew up in to move to city, got degree and a good job I enjoy). However I can't help but feel massively inadequate and insecure next to him and wonder what on earth he is doing with me. I worry that he sees me as his 'bit of rough' to pass the time with until someone better comes along.

Bear in mind he hasn't told me much about his background in this respect and definitely doesn't brag; a lot of this is gained from social media (I know!) and to talk to he seems to have the same worries as all other guys that age.

Do you think this could work long term or should I cut my losses as it's not helping my self esteem? I am a huge over thinker so looking for some perspective I guess.

something2say Tue 19-Jul-16 07:51:46

I think it depends... What if he hated the school, felt abandoned and wishes he came from a tight close community like you do?

princessmi12 Tue 19-Jul-16 11:41:55

I think you reflect your own thoughts here ,not his.
You don't feel good enough.
Why do you think he's trying to pass time with you until someone else comes along? Is your relationship very casual?
I would rather have an honest conversations with him,explain how you feel and see what he says in return .Then take it from there.

ElspethFlashman Tue 19-Jul-16 11:52:24

It depends on the circles he travels in. I have a friend like you, married to a bloke like him. Lovely guy and very happy - but even after 10 years she still feels very uncomfortable at the attitude of some of his oldest friends. Lots of holidays/parties/huge houses/entitlement etc. It still makes her feel like an alien. They are a bit oblivious to how privileged they come across and are shocking in how much money they spend. And I know she dislikes being the token working class representative in dinner party discussions.

So the culture clash is ever present. But maybe your guy isn't quite as immersed in that world.

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