Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Random question... Do you put your 14 year old children to bed or do they go themselves?

(61 Posts)
Halfwayoranges Mon 18-Jul-16 22:38:44

Friend has a bed routine for her 14 year old son and it's become an area of dispute between friends this lunchtime. Is this unusual to you?

ImperialBlether Mon 18-Jul-16 22:43:39

At 14???!!!!

If the child is NT, they surely should be going off to bed on their own? I used to always go in to say goodnight, but what else would there be to do? Brush their teeth? Read them a story?

LetMeJustStepOnMySoapbox Mon 18-Jul-16 22:44:02

Seriously? That's ridiculous!

BikeRunSki Mon 18-Jul-16 22:45:54

By 14 I think I was staying up later than my parents some nights (I am a natural night owl though, not a party animal)

ThisUsernameIsAvailable Mon 18-Jul-16 22:45:55

I pop my head round his door 10 mins before his bedtime to give him chance to finish whatever he's doing and say goodnight and leave him to it.

WhatTheDickensian Mon 18-Jul-16 22:47:18

I don't put my 9 year old to bed and haven't for well over a year.

PeppasNanna Mon 18-Jul-16 22:47:39

Dd is 14 & my 3rd child. She puts herself to bed.

Unless there are developmental issues, i would consider it strange to put a 14 year old to bed.

MiniMinor Mon 18-Jul-16 22:48:40

What? My ten year old goes to bed by herself. Mature for her age but still...

foursillybeans Mon 18-Jul-16 22:49:34

What does bedroom routine mean? My DD has her own routine as such but it's not set in stone. DD is 13 but I do chose her bedtime for her. I don't let her sit up for hours as it's not in her best interest. I also insist on time with my DH. Evenings are my/our time as it were.

FoxesOnSocks Mon 18-Jul-16 22:50:01

My 10 and 12 year old put themselves to bed; I do tell them it's time but that's about it, the 12 tends to read for a bit; I might need to tell him to switch of lights if it's getting too late (after 10).

So any 14 year old of mine would go to bed on themselves I would guess.

PortiaCastis Mon 18-Jul-16 22:50:32

That's ridiculous! Assuming the teen is NT there's no way I would put he/she to bed.

UnikittyInHerBusinessSuit Mon 18-Jul-16 22:50:59

I'm a somewhat overprotective mother and if my DC are sharing a room then they both get lullabies blush but even my DD spontaneously started turning her own light off and taking responsibility for her own bedtime when she was 12 or 13. Unless her DB is getting a bedtime story she fancies listening to of course....

LetMeJustStepOnMySoapbox Mon 18-Jul-16 22:51:35

My 10 yo daughter told me she didn't need me to put her to bed a couple of years ago. Her brother is usually upstairs and they have a chat before she takes herself to bed. Sometimes he goes in and checks on her.

He's nearly 18 and I don't have a bedtime routine for him either.

chocdonutyy Mon 18-Jul-16 22:52:59

Once dd is in bed I pop in and say goodnight and check what time she needs waking up/if anything needs getting ready for school but that's it.
No routine really and easy as we live in a flat, if her bedroom was upstairs I'd do this as she went up.
Shes 14 next month, usually in bed before me but sometimes asleep a bit later.

PortiaCastis Mon 18-Jul-16 22:53:03

Hope the school friends don't find out they will be merciless

KayJBee Mon 18-Jul-16 22:54:06

My 9 yr old puts herself to bed most nights, the 7 yr old is quite capable and even the 4 yr old is fairly good at doing most stuff himself with a bit of reminding, though I do have to read the story to him.
No way would I be putting a 14 yr old to bed. I would expect to maybe have to remind them of the time and that it was time for bed but that's it.

Ragwort Mon 18-Jul-16 22:55:05

Depends what you mean by 'routine' - I remind my 15 year old DS it is bed time (school nights), nag him to get his stuff ready for the morning which he doesn't and wrench his phone off him. DH or I then usually pop our head round the door to say 'good night'. I don't exactly call that putting him to bed but on school nights I do try to ensure that he is bed at a reasonable time and don't allow his mobile in his bedroom.

Does that make me over protective? confused.

kennypppppppp Mon 18-Jul-16 22:58:41

my kids put themselves to bed but then i go in and say goodnight which turns into a 93 hour chat and endless farting about by which time i haven't done anything i wanted to do (such as watch towie). they're in year 6 and 8

BeckyMcDonald Mon 18-Jul-16 23:31:04

14? I was out in the pubs at the weekends at that age. I also had two jobs. Bedtime routine? Lol.

Topseyt Mon 18-Jul-16 23:37:16

I have never put my teenagers to bed. Did all of that and got the t-shirts when they were small and had no desire to continue for any longer than necessary.

I can only try to imagine the incredulous look I would get from DD3 (14) is I tried to instigate such a routine. She would think I had gone stark staring mad.

I do call out that it is bedtime now and again if I think things are going on too late and she has school the next day, but other than that nothing

BadToTheBone Mon 18-Jul-16 23:39:25

My 14 yo ds, usually comes downstairs spends 30 mins with us and then takes himself off to bed, usually about 10:30-11, if he sits a bit longer I usually say and off he goes. My 10 yo did mostly goes herself too but I occasionally sneak in and have a chat.

ErrolTheDragon Tue 19-Jul-16 00:02:18

'Put to bed' no, but I think I was still reading to dd after she'd bedded down when she was 14 - a shared enjoyment of the late great Terry Pratchett, of course. grin

SandyY2K Tue 19-Jul-16 00:04:29

Absolutely not.

I'd wonder if there is something wrong with the child.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Tue 19-Jul-16 12:43:00

People live How they live, don't they. I was put to bed until I was around 13, but that was like 1,000 years ago. grin.
Plus boys are more immature than girls.
I suppose if it works and the child is happy then that's all that counts.
All families are different.
Plus is he her only one, she could be holding on to mothering him.

LIZS Tue 19-Jul-16 12:44:35

4 yes 14 no! I'm often in bed before dc.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now