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Please send hugs. I am alone and very very sad

(25 Posts)
Patheticfallacy Mon 18-Jul-16 19:35:36

I am in floods of tears. My relationship is going through a really difficult patch. I'm just clinging on but I don't know what will happen. I don't want to talk about it really anymore but I need a hug.

AndreaKaren123 Mon 18-Jul-16 19:36:44

Been there . Very sad

Patheticfallacy Mon 18-Jul-16 19:37:21

Thank you Andrea and so sorry you've been there x

kavvLar Mon 18-Jul-16 19:38:54

I'm sorry that you are so sad.

Do you want to talk about it?


AndreaKaren123 Mon 18-Jul-16 19:39:31

How long you been feeling like this

DontForgetTheNameChange Mon 18-Jul-16 19:39:48

Really sorry to hear this OP. Sending you best wishes and hugs. Is there a friend or relative close by you could go and visit? It does sound like you need a hug, a big pot of tea and an understanding ear to bend.

Patheticfallacy Mon 18-Jul-16 19:41:08

I posted a thread about it. He needs space or something. But the idea that we might not get through it is hurting so.much. I know we might not make it but I don't want to hear that right now. I need to hope.

Patheticfallacy Mon 18-Jul-16 19:41:21

There is no one

Patheticfallacy Mon 18-Jul-16 19:46:13

He has completely withdrawn since his ex filed a court case to reduce his access to his son (ex making his life hell). I think he's depressed. He is numb. Physically and verbally unaffectionate. Seeing me has become a duty rather than a pleasure I think. He's desperately unhappy, not with me so much but it's affecting our relationship. He's irritated by my attempts to cuddle etc. Did really honestly love me but doesn't know how he feels anymore because he's numb. But we were both crying and don't want to end it.

AndreaKaren123 Mon 18-Jul-16 20:17:59

Very sad ...
Can your partner go to a solicitor and ask for access girl his child

AndreaKaren123 Mon 18-Jul-16 20:18:17

For his child

Patheticfallacy Mon 18-Jul-16 20:31:15

He is doing. So hopefully things will improve. He does have 40% at the moment but she is trying to reduce it. I've got to hang on in there but I'm hurting.

Diamondsandpurls Mon 18-Jul-16 20:51:26

I read your other post while I was walking the dog and so it was difficult to reply but my overwhelming thought was what a kind and gentle person you sounded. It does sound like your partner is depressed and I understand his reasons for not seeking help, but I would say that it sounds as though it's not that he doesn't want to be with you, but that as you say, he feels numb and therefore feels nothing about anything.
I understand how hurtful this is for you, but having been the other person previously after a terrible time and withdrawing from my husband completely - even going so far as to say I didn't know if I loved him, I knew that my feelings at the time weren't real, I just didn't know what to feel and I wasn't 'me'. It was hugely hurtful to him at the time (and now me looking back) but we came through it once the fog lifted. I hope this happens for you too, you sound lovely and deserve someone equally so.

Patheticfallacy Mon 18-Jul-16 21:00:52

Diamonds thank you so much. Funnily enough my dp said those words 'I'm not me.' I know he loves me and through the fog he knows it too. He's terrified of hurting me as well because he can't make sense of his own feelings. He obviously can't give me any certainties right now. I know in many ways it'd be easier to walk away, but when I say I love someone I mean it. I'm not going to walk away because they are ill.

geekymommy Tue 19-Jul-16 01:14:05

Hugs from the US!

Rainbowqueeen Tue 19-Jul-16 01:17:46

Hugs from me too

Please be kind to yourself

hmmmum Tue 19-Jul-16 01:19:55

Hugs from me. You sound lovely. And I'm so sorry your dp is going through such a horrendous time. I really hope you make it through. flowers

hmmmum Tue 19-Jul-16 01:28:26

A lot of people find it really hard to receive comfort; when they're in pain they just want to withdraw from everyone and be on their own. He's going through such a hard thing...and maybe he almost doesn't know what to do with your closeness, if that makes sense? Because he struggles to find it comforting. It's like the amount of pain he's in means that he can't deal with both that situation (with ex) as well as having a relationship with you ...together it's just too much emotional stuff to deal with all t once. Maybe you could try giving him space but also telling him you're there for him. My DH isn't one for cuddles when he's distressed about something either, he almost needs "alone time" to process it...

Patheticfallacy Tue 19-Jul-16 09:14:29

Thank you all. I know this is what he needs right now. I'm just hurting too.

coco1810 Tue 19-Jul-16 10:14:56

Big hug from me too!

Patheticfallacy Tue 19-Jul-16 10:28:45

Thank you xx it helps. I can do this.

Adarajames Wed 20-Jul-16 02:38:07

Hope you're feeling a little brighter today op, but sending you hugs either way x

Patheticfallacy Wed 20-Jul-16 18:18:09

I'm still very very sad. I don't really know what to do with myself. Trying to just tell myself it's over so that I don't get disappointed.

Adarajames Wed 20-Jul-16 18:47:47

all you can do is be kind to yourself, take it one moment at a time, and find things to distract you from thinking about it if you can. Hugs for you x

Patheticfallacy Wed 20-Jul-16 19:15:20

Just as I wrote that he rang and is here tomorrow. So maybe I was right taking the pressure off.

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