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I genuinely don't know who is the abusive asshole. Me, him or neither of us.

(7 Posts)
Peppatina Mon 18-Jul-16 15:53:40

We have an autistic three yer old dd and a ds who is 13 weeks old.

I have been scared because I feel angry all of the time. I have been mostly keeping a lid on it but it is proper, deep down rage, and is frankly quite terrifying. I know I probably have pnd but don't want to go back to my useless GP.

My DP says he is always walking on eggshells. That he never knows where he stands with me and is always pointing out what and how I am doing things wrong.

BUT I don't know if it's the PND or him but I feel hatred towards him a lot these days.

A few examples of how I'm feeling at the minute:

I like to play on a multiplayer game sometimes when/if the children are asleep for the night and I have the energy to stay up (ds is exclusively bf).

My DP always has a go at me for playing this game. Apparently his ex played it and then met someone else on it so I shouldn't play it. I should never make friends on it or talk to people because that means I don't respect him or want to cheat on him.

I got angry and shouted and swore at him today. I told him before I planned to make a lasagne (cooking relaxes me and I love to spend a little time doing it from scratch but he always seems to resent me spending time 'away' from him to cook)

He said his mum was visiting and I shouldn't cook the lasagne because it would be rude and ignorant.

I told him to fuck off and cooked the lasagne anyway because otherwise it wouldn't be done in time for tea (dd has autism, teatime HAS to be at the same time if we can help it).

I was popping in and out of the kitchen and his mum didn't seem to mind.

So that made me wonder...is it really all me or not?

Peppatina Mon 18-Jul-16 15:54:06

Sorry for the ramble. I can't seem to get my thoughts straight at the minute.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Peppatina Mon 18-Jul-16 16:19:41

No Need it's world of Warcraft. I suppose you could hook up on it but I just like the achievements!

He didn't want me to cook the lasagne because he thought his mum would think I was rude and ignorant.

Peppatina Mon 18-Jul-16 16:20:04

I could swap gp's, just struggling with the motivation to do so.

crazyhead Mon 18-Jul-16 20:38:06

Rude for cooking her dinner? That's odd? Seriously though, it may be that both of you need to be kinder to yourselves and each other. You are under a shed load of stress - you would be anyway even without your dd's diagnosis because of the age of your kids. Can you get someone to look after the kids for a couple of hours so you can take the time to have a calm chat and reestablish some ground rules?

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