Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

How would you respond to this?

(25 Posts)
CherryDrops48 Mon 18-Jul-16 00:11:59

DP is away for work for 2 months, he rang me tonight when he was drunk and told me that he had gotten a massage that day and she made him 'hard'.

I said what do you expect me to reply to that and he responded by saying I'm honest and have done nothing wrong, I moved the conversation on after that but I'm interested to know what others would have said in that situation.

2nds Mon 18-Jul-16 00:14:59

I'd have just laughed.

PortiaCastis Mon 18-Jul-16 00:16:05

I would have laughed as well

CherryDrops48 Mon 18-Jul-16 00:23:01

I've made a fool out of myself haven't I?

Redglitter Mon 18-Jul-16 00:25:47

I'd have laughed too I must admit

honeyroar Mon 18-Jul-16 00:25:49

I wouldn't have laughed. I work away. You need trust and love, but you don't need to hear stories about other women giving them hard ons when you're miles away from them, it just festers in your mind otherwise. I think it's disrespectful of him.

AnyFucker Mon 18-Jul-16 00:26:15

I am really having to wrack my brain about this

Nope. No good. I can't answer it because I cannot ever imagine my husband putting me in the position of having to formulate a response to something like this

Your husband sounds like a twat

pictish Mon 18-Jul-16 00:30:52

I agree - what a prize twat...that was a totally inappropriate thing for him to say to you. Goady as fuck.
I would have just gone silent and waited for him to either backpedal furiously and/or dig a deeper hole for himself, before hanging up.

ExtraHotLatteToGo Mon 18-Jul-16 00:32:26


Laugh? I think not.

He's working away for two months & is telling you some other woman is giving him a hard on.

What a twat.

I'd put good money on him getting some relief for his new found 'problem'. Sorry.

threeelephants Mon 18-Jul-16 00:34:00

Was he hoping for some kind of phone sex? That'd be my first thought.

mylaststraw Mon 18-Jul-16 00:56:45

At least he told you just after it happened. If it had come out in a drunken confession a few months down the line you might have been a bit less understanding that he 'hid' it. Maybe he was coming clean to prevent this happening??

HappyJanuary Mon 18-Jul-16 05:01:36

Your DH rang to say another woman had made him hard? I'm not sure what my response would have been, but I wouldn't have laughed. I think when he's sober a proper conversation needs to happen. Who was she and what were the circumstances?

DadWasHere Mon 18-Jul-16 06:17:59

Men are blunt instruments, I think he is missing sex. Specifically he is missing sex with you. If he was just missing sex he would not have said a word about the incident.

Mommym24 Mon 18-Jul-16 06:44:17

Strangehmm not sure weather to laugh at him or be angry ! Quite disrespectful though as it's not really gonna make you rest assured is it now

TheNaze73 Mon 18-Jul-16 07:55:42

I think I'd have laughed too before reality would bite. He's being a twat

category12 Mon 18-Jul-16 08:12:30

Maybe he went to a 'happy ending' type of place. I wouldn't be happy.

Botanicbaby Mon 18-Jul-16 09:11:53

He sounds incredibly immature.

His cries of 'honest guv I did nothing wrong' would make me think otherwise. It sounds like he's trying to justify it.

What do you want to do? Even if you implicitly trust him, it doesn't sound like he's bothered about your feelings.

Branleuse Mon 18-Jul-16 09:16:33

id have raised eyebrows at his need to share that with me

Tangofandango Mon 18-Jul-16 18:50:25

It wasn't "another woman" giving him a hard-on, it was the massage itself. It probably would have happened if it had been a man giving the massage. Your DH just reacted normally to a sensual treatment.

I used to offer massage as a treatment in my beauty salon and I guarantee every man that had one (often bought as a treat by their wife or girlfriend) would get a hard-on. It's a natural reaction.

I can assure you that a professional masseuse would take it in her stride and ignore it. She would know it wasn't a reaction to her personally.

The fact that he told you about it shows he probably felt a bit embarrassed about it, or wanted to have a laugh with you about it, or wanted some phone sex with you OP.

I certainly don't think the masseuse would have been offering other services if she was from, or working in, a professional, reputable salon.

Pearlman Mon 18-Jul-16 19:53:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Arfarfanarf Mon 18-Jul-16 19:56:25

I wouldnt have laughed.
I dont understand the joke.
Is 'i was aroused by a woman massaging me' the punchline?
It's not very funny.

DownstairsMixUp Mon 18-Jul-16 20:00:17

He is a twat.

AnyFucker Mon 18-Jul-16 23:19:52

Where has op gone

Gardenbirds123 Mon 18-Jul-16 23:25:25

Phone sex

CreepingDogFart Mon 18-Jul-16 23:29:46

OP you haven't made a fool of yourself at all. He's horrible and shown himself up. You have not flowers

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now