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How can I get more friends? Kind of??

(13 Posts)
bingisthebest Sun 17-Jul-16 21:59:12

Not sure how to articulate myself!
I have about 3 friends, 2 that with me makes a 3 and a good mum friend from school. The mum friend I also see In our little group of school
mums. Hope this makes sense.
I then have work friends, old work friends and that's about it really.
I only have one person I'm still in contact with from school and she is part of the 3 who I see regularly.
Dh has old school friends who we see on odd occasions with there other halfs.
I often feel I don't have anyone o can really talk but also recognise that I am more of a listener in relationships.
I'm just intrigued to know if my 'friend situation' is normal or whether I'm a bit sad as sometimes I feel quite on my own not having a large group of friends as others seem to.

bingisthebest Sun 17-Jul-16 22:00:07

*their, not there.

AddToBasket Sun 17-Jul-16 22:10:03

Your situation sounds normal to better than average.

I think their are a lot of people with not many friends but some people make a big deal whenever they are out in a big group and it can feel a bit isolating if you aren't.

bingisthebest Mon 18-Jul-16 20:09:47

Anyone else have any thoughts?

Zaurak Mon 18-Jul-16 20:16:00

You're doing better than me. I have no close friends at all.

TransformersRobotsInDaSky Mon 18-Jul-16 20:23:19

About 2 years ago I had a few very close friends but none of them lived near where I currently live so I had to make a real effort to find new friends. I know this is very non-mumsnetty but I joined the PTA at school and found that this allowed me to get to know lots of different people at school. DS also took up cricket and I have become very close to a few of the parents who also took their children there, helped very much by the fact that it's on a Friday night and they open up the bar for the parents while we watch.

So, my advice would be to join some clubs that you have an interest in and meet like-minded people that way.

EarthboundMisfit Mon 18-Jul-16 20:28:34

Sounds good to me!

Resilience16 Mon 18-Jul-16 20:29:01

Hi I think it's a fallacy that everyone has huge groups of friends. Most people are lucky to have two or three really good friends. You sound like you are doing well on that front.
Social media may make it seem like everyone else has tonnes of friends but I don't think that is really true.
If you want to meet people with similar interests is a good place to have a look. It will tell you what's going on in your area and you will meet up with likeminded people.
Alternatively take up a hobby or start some voluntary work, all good way to widen your friendship group. There's all kinds if vol work you can do, it doesn't just mean helping out in your local charity shop!
Hope these suggestions help.

LesserofTwoWeevils Mon 18-Jul-16 22:09:08

You are so much better off than me!
I'm single so don't have anyone to talk to about anything ever, basically.
Plus crippling social anxiety. So on the rare occasions I get to meet people...they're just people I've met and I probably don't make any impression on them at all, or not a good one.

justpeachy74 Mon 18-Jul-16 22:10:02

Sounds like you're doing well to me. I have similar small groups of friends. Whenever I've been part of a larger group in the past it has always ended up splintering into smaller groups or people drifting away. Sometimes group politics causes people to fall out etc.

justpeachy74 Mon 18-Jul-16 22:13:14

lesser have you tried getting help for your social anxiety? CBT or just self help books?

FarsleyLass Mon 18-Jul-16 22:24:24

I think there is a common theme here in that most people have two or three really good friends and anyone else is an aquaintance. Many people like to make out they have lots of friends when really they have lots of aquaintances.

bingisthebest Tue 19-Jul-16 21:25:45

When I wrote this post o honestly didn't think I would feel like I'm actually ok. Maybe everyone I know just talks things up a bit.
So I'm not doing too bad then and maybe need to nurture the friendships I have.
Thank you for all your replies.

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