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What would you do if your...

(11 Posts)
melancauliflower Sat 16-Jul-16 21:46:04

DH or DW had told you one week ago that they realised they had a problem with alcohol while you were away in another country all week, then you came back today and by dinner time they had told you they needed to go for a walk and think, and they were gone for over an hour? Then came back and made dinner then went to bed at 9pm on their own without talking about the time they were out?

WhatTheActualFugg Sat 16-Jul-16 21:59:29

I'd go and wake him up and ask him what was wrong.

Or, if I was in a particularly uncaring mood, enjoy the peace and quiet and wait for him to get off his chest whatever he needs to get off his chest.

OneAppleADay Sat 16-Jul-16 22:01:16

I would think they had the need to stay alone for sometime to think. I do it all the time.

Cocoabutton Sat 16-Jul-16 22:05:21

Ask in the morning if he is okay and whether he wants to talk? But I am single, and I know I would have asked over dinner, anyway

HeddaGarbled Sat 16-Jul-16 22:06:46

Did you have a proper talk after he/she confessed to the problem? Do they have any ideas for how to address the problem? Were/are they asking for your help/support with that?

WhatTheActualFugg Sat 16-Jul-16 22:10:16

I suspect the op is the one who has gone to bed after no one asked her what was wrong.

If the walker said they needed some space and then on return didn't offer any discussion about the walk then I would imagine the other person was trying not to intrude or pry.

Tbh a bit more context is going to be required if you want any useful responses.

pictish Sat 16-Jul-16 22:22:15

Personally I'd be asking where they were and what was going on.

melancauliflower Sat 16-Jul-16 23:31:50

Yes sorry I'm the one who went off. I was trying to get an idea as to if his behaviour were normal as to me it is completely alien.

There's no further context really. He's been away all week and I've been looking forward to him coming back. We haven't talked about the drinking much at all. I also suffer from depression. He's barely communicated since his return and there's an atmosphere in the house so I went out for some space and to think and I suppose I was hoping for it to make him realise I wasn't happy. But I think he just enjoyed the peace and quiet. Who knows what he's thinking.
Never mind. We're different people, this is just the way it is I suppose and I see now that some others would have done the same.

melancauliflower Sat 16-Jul-16 23:34:55

I have another thread about me thinking he is autistic so maybe this is a part of that - not knowing when I need his help or how to support me.

HeddaGarbled Sat 16-Jul-16 23:41:58

Going off for a walk and then going to bed early isn't really helpful though. It kind of sends a message that you don't want to talk to him. But you do want to talk to him?

melancauliflower Sat 16-Jul-16 23:51:03

I had tried to talk to him a few times that day, he either looked blankly, went on his phone or listened for a bit then looked like he wanted to leave the room and wandered off

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