Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Grr me again

(10 Posts)
Unsettled72 Thu 14-Jul-16 21:05:51


Well after over 2 1/2 years i still havent met kids. And now we are not talking because i got a bit upset (i had a bottle of wine at this point) when he mentioned how much money and time i have cost him? He has done a lot in the garden (new patio etc) and it is very tiresome sometimes. But am i wrong in thinking that if you give time and things to someone then you give it? he stays at mine 4-5 times a week and i cook for him etc but i never ask for anything in return. I secured some equipment for him to start a venture. I dont ask for anything.

It doesnt help that my aunt is going through terminal cancer and was on the phone to her that same day.

Surely if someone does something for you they dont constantly bring it up? am i wrong?

He isnt talking to me no either. Just heartbroken really

Unsettled72 Thu 14-Jul-16 21:52:27


smilingeyes11 Thu 14-Jul-16 21:58:23

Why are you with him if he treats you so badly? I would say he is doing you a favour not talking - I would make it permanent if I were you.

Sorry about your Aunt.

Unsettled72 Thu 14-Jul-16 22:07:42

I have no idea Smiling. Im waiting for that Epiphany
thats never going to happen i guess x

Guiltypleasures001 Thu 14-Jul-16 22:18:49

Actually you had your epiphany when you started this your post lovely, if he's sitting there festering over doing something for supposedly the ones he professes to love, then he doesn't love you.

Ditch the twat and go find a friend to help you bury the fucker under your shiny new patio grin
I'll start to all rolling, I have spade in my shed.

Unsettled72 Thu 14-Jul-16 22:28:11

Im just so upset. He has done a lot for me but i thought we were working on something together eventually then i get the ' look how much, what i have done for you speech' i do things for him too as in making sure his favourite foods are here etc and i would do more but how can i when he stays here most of the time. I do what i can. I work full time and teach twice a week in the evening.

i just dont get it. Or maybe i do ..thats why im here again x

AndTheBandPlayedOn Fri 15-Jul-16 04:04:19

If what you do for him is not acknowledged, let alone appreciated, then stop doing it. He is taking the piss.

He wants a standing ovation, gold medal ceremony, and reimbursement for anything he does for you, but pretty much takes for granted everything you do for him.
You are invisible in this dynamic.

Not talking to you=you are invisible some more. sad
Is he still spending time at your place, eating your good food while not talking to you?
angry <with bells on (you don't need to blame the wine; you have every right to your feelings-this is your truth).

Breathe. Relax, and consider a different perspective-your gut feeling is raising the red flags here. Erase him right back. Silence is golden-I agree to make it permanent.


Feel the relief? Yes, your pocket book will too, I'll bet. Stop subsidizing him, the ungrateful wanker.

squishee Fri 15-Jul-16 06:23:50

Sounds like cocklodger mentality.
Don't you deserve better? Really?
Get rid.
You'll feel so much lighter without this demoralising dead weight weighing you down.

Whocansay Fri 15-Jul-16 07:26:00

If you are the same poster I think you are, you know you should get rid. But you won't. Maybe you enjoy the drama? What would you like to get out of this thread? Are you just wanting to vent?

timelytess Fri 15-Jul-16 07:27:42

cocklodger. deffo. get rid.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now