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(12 Posts)
Twatting Thu 14-Jul-16 13:22:05

Me and DP haven't been the most stable recently. We've had a lot of ups and downs are very very recently turned a corner and making personal changes to better our relationship.

Now, he's been asked to work on the other side of the world for a month. I want to support him if it would further his career but I honestly don't know if we would survive it.

He said he's thinking about and I said I would support his decision. I'm just worried.

Would you specifically ask him not to go knowing he will resent you or just support whatever he decides and deal with the consequences.

I feel vulnerable as it is at the moment. I'm currently in hospital in a lot of pain but he needs to decide asap, having been asked today and potentially leaving in 2 weeks.

PoshPenny Thu 14-Jul-16 13:32:43

It's a good opportunity to see how much you really do care about each other by being apart and to decide whether the relationship has a future or not. A month is not that long and you should let him go if he wants to - rather than saying no and him holding it against you in the future.

ravenmum Thu 14-Jul-16 13:37:40

Might even be good for you to get a bit of distance, see if you actually miss him or not...

Goingtobeawesome Thu 14-Jul-16 13:38:54

If you won't survive a month apart it doesn't appear to be a strong relationship anyway.

ButIbeingpoor Thu 14-Jul-16 16:14:34

Let him off. If your relationship can't weather a month's separation it may be better to know sooner than later.

Tiggeryoubastard Thu 14-Jul-16 16:18:22

It's a bloody month! There's phones and Skype. Frankly if a month working away would be the death knell for your relationship then there's no relationship there.

ImperialBlether Thu 14-Jul-16 16:20:38

Well, do you have children? I can see why the OP wouldn't want him running off if she does.

And you're in hospital - would you be well enough to cope by the time he's away?

Generally speaking, though, a month isn't a long time and it might do you good to have some time apart to decide whether you miss each other.

Twatting Thu 14-Jul-16 16:26:37

Yes we have a 5 year old and I was relying on him for help during the school holidays.
I totally agree that it's better to know if we wouldn't work which is why I'm reluctant to say anything other than I'll support him.

I'm worried mostly that he has trust issues (nothing caused by my behaviour) and he wouldn't cope.

I'm not sure what to do to be honest.
I appreciate everyone's input thank you!

ImperialBlether Thu 14-Jul-16 16:34:14

So he's the one who wants to go away but he won't trust you when he's gone? Even though you're in hospital now and will have a five year old glued to you while he's off living the free life?

Is he completely bonkers?

OneAppleADay Thu 14-Jul-16 20:58:15

Only a month? Should be fine... If it was an years I would think twice about it.

OneAppleADay Thu 14-Jul-16 20:59:14

An year*

Newbienew Thu 14-Jul-16 22:27:36

Will you have recovered enough in two weeks to take care of 5 year old ? If so, support him to go. You might surprise yourself and enjoy the time apart. Sometimes it's easier to do everything when your the only one there. No resentment on lack of sharing chores , responsibilities. And as others have said if your relationship can't survive 1 month apart ? Enjoy the special summer bonding with your child. memories just for the 2 of you.

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