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I can't breathe

(18 Posts)
myownperson Wed 13-Jul-16 22:55:32

I left. It's going so well.
But I can't breathe. I don't know what's happened. It's just hit me.

Msqueen33 Wed 13-Jul-16 22:57:55

Take a breath and remember why you've left. It's panic. You will adjust. You left for a good reason.

GoatyGoatFace Wed 13-Jul-16 23:07:18

Definitely normal! Try and hold onto the reasons or even better if you can get some sleep. The evenings when it's quiet and you're tired are going to be harder for a while but in the morning hopefully you'll feel clearer of why you're doing what you're doing.

If it helps I left 4 years ago and we lived separately for a few months...I remember those feelings well, really well. In fact it was a big part of the reason I went back. Four years on and I'm trying to find the courage to leave for good this time. It won't change, it won't get better, you've done the right thing for all the right reasons.

You just need to give yourself time. Don't slip back.

GoatyGoatFace Wed 13-Jul-16 23:09:18

And then hopefully when you're all healed and doing great and I'm panicking on one of those first lonely evenings you can remind me of this conversation and remind me why I need to keep going! [Smile]

GoatyGoatFace Wed 13-Jul-16 23:10:21

Or even....smilegrin

FreeFromHarm Wed 13-Jul-16 23:34:52

Your having a panic attack, takes deep breaths as suggested, try and clear your head, everything is going to be ok, you have done the hardest thing a woman can do, you are in a safe place

myownperson Wed 13-Jul-16 23:51:53

Thank you it's going

Oddsocksgalore Thu 14-Jul-16 00:07:56

I remember feeling like that. Why did you leave op?

myownperson Thu 14-Jul-16 00:26:56

It wasn't a good relationship. I needed to leave.

Oddsocksgalore Thu 14-Jul-16 01:20:39

In a little while you will feel much better op, I guarantee it.

My ex husband was mental. Broke my ribs, head butted me. I could go on and on!

This is the worst bit, the anxiety can be crippling.

I did whatever I had to do to get me through the day and night.

I paced, I screamed, I chain smoked, whatever it took.

I don't drink either.

I also talked to myself out loud and willed myself on.

You can do it!!

Have you anyone in real life that could be with you?

myownperson Thu 14-Jul-16 01:38:35

Odd socks that's awful. Glad you got through.
I have a friend staying for the night on Saturday.

FreeFromHarm Thu 14-Jul-16 09:02:22

I talk and will myself to, helps a lot, and putting my favourite music on when the panic and adrenaline starts, it will get less and less. Try not to drink to much alcohol or too much caffeine, it exasperates things.
It's the walking into the unknown, when I turned up to the refuge with two kids in tow.... it was like walking into a different world, but 2 years down the line, we are alive, safe and flourishing, hang in there , everything is going to be ok.

myownperson Thu 14-Jul-16 11:23:12

Can't breathe sounds dramatic now. It clearly was panic. Pretty scary. I had caffeine and a glass of wine so that won't have been helpful. At the point I posted I could have stopped it escalating in hindsight. Just taken by surprise. My life felt very unreal, like I was in a dream and needed to wake up. I am a bit dramatic blush

Thank you.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster Thu 14-Jul-16 11:34:05

Nothing much to add just wanted to say hang on in there.

When things get scary, come on here, so many wonderful women who have been in your shoes and come out on the other side.

Good luck x

GoatyGoatFace Thu 14-Jul-16 13:46:13

I don't think you're dramatic I think you're very brave and strong! I hope I didn't sound trite last night, I really am in awe of people like you who stand by their decisions and see them through instead of crumbling and giving in (like me!)

myownperson Thu 14-Jul-16 14:01:40

Didn't find it trite. Sometimes you just want to know someone hears. And just reading anything calming helps ground me.

Thank you for posting. I will be very happy to return the help one day. Do you have plans?

GoatyGoatFace Fri 15-Jul-16 07:55:42

Morning, yes thank you I do finally have a plan which has always seemed impossible before. I am in counselling which seems to be the turning point and I finally see there is a way which I just haven't been able to before. Sorry I didn't mean to make this about me! How are you feeling today?

myownperson Fri 15-Jul-16 08:37:00

It's good to have a plan isn't it? Glad to hear it.
I hope it's different for you this time. You sound sure about what you want.

I dont mind it not being about me. It's good to talk about things other than me.
My adult conversations this week have been Ex, ExPIL and counselling!

I'm feeling better about things. Everything is actually going really well. Thanks for asking.

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