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Sex with exdp

(11 Posts)
iamsuchafool Wed 13-Jul-16 00:13:04

Long story short, exdp came round last night out of the blue he stayed over and we ended up having oral sex.

Now that in itself is not so bad but he has a gf (ow) and I'm not totally sure about how I feel about him. we spent most of Saturday together at a mutual friends party with dcs and it was lovely, when he went to leave I kind of grabbed hold of his arm practically asking him not to leave as I didn't want him going back to her (pathetic).

I know I was wrong but what do I say or do now as I think I still love him, I also just saw a pic of them together and it's hurt me so much I ended up crying.

Saltfish Wed 13-Jul-16 02:04:41

there really is no nice way to say this but it sounds like he's having his cake and eating it too I'm so sorry luv flowers

MollyTwo Wed 13-Jul-16 05:59:16

You are allowing yourself to be hurt. Stop having sex with him. He is having it both ways but you are the one allowing him to.

BIWI Wed 13-Jul-16 06:03:19

Do you mean that you had mutual oral sex, or did you just give him a blow job?

If the latter, and clutching on to him to stop him leave - I'm sorry, but this is just being desperate and isn't going to be any good for your self esteem.

If there's an OW involved, it's also going to make things even more horribly complicated.

I'm sorry though, it must be very difficult. But I think you have to let him go.

timelytess Wed 13-Jul-16 06:14:03

People do that, don't worry. Its common when relationships end.
Don't give it a thought, just make a mental note not to do it again. Or, only to do it in circumstances that are beneficial to you, not just to him.

Dozer Wed 13-Jul-16 06:19:33

Don't do the "pick me dance". He cheated on you so is a dick you don't need in your life.

Cooroo Wed 13-Jul-16 06:24:34

What timelytess said - it happens. It's not easy to untie that intimacy. You will move on but don't beat yourself up about this.

iamsuchafool Wed 13-Jul-16 08:32:22

It was mutual and yes I agree he is getting his cake and eating it.

I wouldn't normally do the pick me dance but have been feeling very low, lonely and really missing him for the last few weeks, I haven't said that to him though and when he turned up at that moment I was so happy.
I really am a fool.

Dutchcourage Wed 13-Jul-16 08:42:33

You won't be the first or last t feel like this and it's just your low feelings that are keeping you there.

Well he is a count isn't he? Cheating on you both. What s catch. Look at what his new gf has a life of.

Pick your self up and arrange time out with your friends. Do something your going to have a laugh with, be with people that will pick your spirits up.

Don't worry about this hicup, it just shows you what a complete twat he is and how easy it is to turn his face. Ow is welcome to him!

Don't beat yourself up, just pick yourself up and move forward flowers

Dutchcourage Wed 13-Jul-16 08:43:43

A count! As in Dracula 😂😂

I mean *cunt - as he is.

hellsbellsmelons Wed 13-Jul-16 08:44:49

You are not a fool.
You did something foolish - very different things.
Stop having any kind of sex with this lying cheat and concentrate on you and your DC.
No contact with him other than to discuss access etc...
He cheated on you and now he's cheating on her.
He's learnt nothing and is still a big fat cheat.
You really don't want that back do you?
You could certainly never trust him again.
Put it down to experience and ensure it never happens again.

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