Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Is there anything I can do about ex's stuff still in the house?

(23 Posts)
Pheonix1102 Tue 12-Jul-16 08:34:42

Ex moved out last August and his stuff in the office he used are still there. We are in the middle of the divorce proceedings so i have two questions:
1. Does he still have the right to access the house as he wishes? I am going away on holiday with DC during summer and don't like the idea that he can let himself in anytime he likes
2. Is there anything I can do about his rubbish left here? At least put them in storage and send him the bill?

My solicitor is on holiday so wondered if anyone has similar experience, thanks!

Tiggeryoubastard Tue 12-Jul-16 08:38:12

Does he part own the house? If so he has the right to enter. You can put the stuff in storage and send him a bill but you can't force him to pay it, so if he doesn't pay you'd end up paying it.

Pheonix1102 Tue 12-Jul-16 08:56:53

Thanks. As long as there's a way to move them out of the house, I can take the risk of having to pay for it.
It took me weeks to finally clear up all the empty beer cans (hundreds of them) he left under the desk. Desperate for a way to get my house back in a liveable and healthy condition.
He does co own the house.

Tiggeryoubastard Tue 12-Jul-16 09:21:19

Be aware that storage isn't cheap. When you put the stuff in it will have to be in your name and you need to pay a deposit and set up a direct debit.

DeathStare Tue 12-Jul-16 10:15:38

Also bear in mind that if he does come round while you aren't there, and finds his stuff gone he may well think you have binned/destroyed it and want to seek revenge for that.

MonkeysWAGMug Tue 12-Jul-16 10:23:46

Are you in regular contact with him? If so I'd remind him that some of his stuff is still there and you'd like him to remove it by XX date.
He's lived without whatever it is for almost a year now,. I see you've referred to it as "his rubbish". What is it?

ravenmum Tue 12-Jul-16 10:42:32

When in this situation I locked my private stuff in one of the rooms and left his stuff where he would find it. Not sure how that would actually stand up legally, though.

Pheonix1102 Tue 12-Jul-16 11:11:26

Thanks all for the suggestions.
The room used to be his office so they include two computer desks, filing cabinets, piles and piles of old documents scattering around, two computers (old heavy style), loads of books and CDs.
Two large boxes of cables mouses etc.
The room was dusty cluttered with cobwebs all over the place. I finally decided that I couldn't wait for him to move anything any more last weekend so I started cleaning up. It was disgusting.
In the utility room are all his tools camping stuff etc.
In my son's bedroom wardrobe are his old clothes, a wardrobe full of them.
I am in regular contact with him but he won't do anything about it and told me his solicitor suggested I could do nothing about it.

smilingeyes11 Tue 12-Jul-16 11:30:28

yes you can. Give him a set time to get the items collected, 14 days is ok. Then tell him if he doesn't collect in that time you will presume that he doesn't want the stuff and you will dispose of accordingly. Put it in writing and send signed for. My solicitor did it for me. Legally you can't just dump or leave outside for him but you can insist it is collected by a certain date, and he has to give you notice of that date too so it is ready for him. Him telling you what his solicitor said, well that is rubbish.

MonkeysWAGMug Tue 12-Jul-16 11:31:39

That would drive me mad OP. He obviously doesn't need the stuff if he's been without it for a year. As you've already discussed it with him it's clear he has no intention of being reasonable about it.

Please don't pay any attention to what he claims his solicitor says, unless it's in writing and agreed with by your solicitor. Ask your own solicitor about advice for this - family lawyers are used to dealing with similar situations and will include the timelines of when personal property must be removed into the divorce agreement.
How far down the divorce road are you?

MonkeysWAGMug Tue 12-Jul-16 11:32:18

xpost with smiling

PigletJohn Tue 12-Jul-16 11:35:59

I like the idea of putting it all in boxes.

You can put the empty beer cans and the socks in boxes as well.

If you want to invest on some of those large plastic crates, they can be put in a garage or shed and the contents will be kept clean. If in the house, they can be stacked (heavy ones at the bottom). Near the door would make it easier for them to be taken away.

Don't put them in the loft as they will stay there forever.

Pheonix1102 Tue 12-Jul-16 11:39:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pheonix1102 Tue 12-Jul-16 11:44:28

Piglet you made me laugh! Unfortunately I have thrown away the beer cans in order not to attract any animals to the house.

I also like the idea of boxing them. I do know though wherever I put them, it won't make a difference. He is fully aware of his rubbish left behind. He is just a lazy hoarder who won't take any action.

When he and his sister sold their late parents' house, his sister had to box up and move all his stuff to the garage for viewing etc. She ended up asking the solicitor to send him a letter and he moved them out of that house the night before the contract exchange.

The rubbish are now in my house.

Pheonix1102 Tue 12-Jul-16 11:45:44

And yes there were really a pair of dirty socks underneath a pile of old documents when I cleaned up during the weekend!

ImperialBlether Tue 12-Jul-16 11:49:21

Does he actually want any of that rubbish? If not I would just pay for a man with a van and get it taken to the tip. I know you shouldn't have to, but he's clearly not going to do it.

If the house is going to be sold and the money split, then maybe you could have that money taken out before the split.

TheCraicDealer Tue 12-Jul-16 11:51:06

You're being way too nice. Phrases like, "Let me know which option works best for you", will not make him suddenly want to help you out, he'll just think, "not fucking dealing with that" and ignore the email or most of it's content.

I would drop the storage idea as a PP was right in that you'll get lumbered with the bill and judging by his prior behaviour I'd be surprised if you could get the funds back off him. If he's done without the stuff for a year why would he ever move it out of storage? I was checking storage units costs out yesterday funny enough, and the smallest (white van-sized) unit was £22 a week, next up was £35. Don't be lumbering yourself with that ongoing cost if you don't absolutely need to.

I would just get some advice from one of the other solicitors in the firm. The money you'd spend on storage would be better spent on a letter or two from them giving him a timescale to get his shit out.

hellsbellsmelons Tue 12-Jul-16 11:52:47

That email is OK but next time pure facts.
You don't need to elaborate.

Your belongings have been here and you have not wanted to collect them, since last August 2015.
You now have 2 weeks in which to collect all your belongings or I will dispose of them and get the removal company to invoice you.
Please advise me of a suitable time for collection and I will ensure I am there for a hand over.

That's all you needed to write!

Hopefully he will get the goods collected but I have feeling that you will have to dispose of them.

Pheonix1102 Tue 12-Jul-16 11:56:32

Funny enough he has recently paid for a storage himself (£72 a month or something like that) to put the OW's stuff in when she moved in to his flat.

But he feels entitled to leave the rubbish here.


Tiggeryoubastard Tue 12-Jul-16 12:01:42

Don't forget though you can't just get a company to do work then invoice someone else. Don't make empty threats. It'll just detract from the point you're making. Just get rid of as much as you can and if he whinges deny all knowledge of it. Then put the rest in his doorstep, giving him fair warning.

smilingeyes11 Tue 12-Jul-16 12:04:06

you can't just leave it on his doorstep as you can be accused of fly tipping. He either collects within the timeframe, at a time convenient to you, or it gets tipped. No exceptions. Time to toughen up.

Pheonix1102 Tue 12-Jul-16 12:09:59

I was actually thinking about that Tigger - how could he prove that something has been missing while in the house? I certainly don't have the responsibility to look after them for him in legal sense right?

Wouldn't the solicitor laugh at him if he claims that he wanted to locate the 'MS Office for dummies 1989 version' series of books?

Melons, I tried to put the message amicable enough as we are still generally in talking terms and I try to avoid escalating it and keep the atmosphere okay for DC.

Tiggeryoubastard Tue 12-Jul-16 12:10:17

Good point, smiling.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now