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Help me move on

(11 Posts)
pineappleeyes Tue 12-Jul-16 07:04:00

I've posted before but am still struggling to move on after a fling with someone who is now no longer interested in me. I seem to be torturing myself, going over things in my mind, reliving it all & quite frankly it's exhausting me . He did the chasing then after a few months went cold on me which, after the level of contact we had is pretty hard to understand. Please help me move on before I go mad.

amypie86 Tue 12-Jul-16 07:53:16

That's exactly what just happened to me. Mine was saying how in love he is and then the next day just never spoke to me again. I've been torturing myself thinking of all the reasons why it could have happened, crying thinking of what I could have done differently. It's been grim to say the least.

We are never going to know why they have done it, but we have to accept it and move on. I've not text him for 2 weeks now and feel a bit better, have you gone no contact? I also make sure I never look at his social media.

RedMapleLeaf Tue 12-Jul-16 07:55:51

Have you tried Paul McKenna's I can mend your broken heart? I know I bang on about this, and I know it sounds like such a cheesy title, but I found it very helpful.

TheNaze73 Tue 12-Jul-16 07:57:30

Going cold turkey, IMO is the only way. It just proves you can never really trust anything at the start of a relationship & some people stop at nothing to get what they want. Good luck OP flowers

winkywinkola Tue 12-Jul-16 08:00:34

Emotional vampires.

They very quickly fall head over heels "in love".

Shower you with attention, affection, gifts.

And then retract it all.

It's almost a game to them.

pineappleeyes Tue 12-Jul-16 10:13:50

Why do they do it winky?

I'll check out Paul mckenna. I was wondering if hypnotherapy might help!?

footballcrazy11 Tue 12-Jul-16 10:47:16

I am in the same boat too pineapple. It is hard but try and push thoughts of him out of your head and distract yourself when you find yourself dwelling on him. Try and get out with friends too if you can. We can do this be strong!!

RedMapleLeaf Tue 12-Jul-16 10:50:44

I'll check out Paul mckenna. I was wondering if hypnotherapy might help!?

I'm not sure if it comes with a disc, I was lent a copy from a friend and found it very helpful even without.

Would you consider counselling?

winkywinkola Tue 12-Jul-16 15:47:17

They do it, op, because they are very lacking within themselves.

They need to feed upon normal, balanced people.

It gives them a sense of control. A sense of emotion.

They think it's real too. But it's just not.

It happened to me too. It knocked me sideways. I was 25 and swept off my feet by this very handsome, wealthy man, my age. It was crazy. And seductive. All consuming. For three months.

And then he vanished. Only to pop up again four years later after some serious rehab.

Luckily I knew then he was a prize knobber and off he went, to lure some other poor normal into his crypt.

He's dead now actually. Only 45 years old but died of his cocaine and alcohol problems.

So take heart. Stay away from those who declare love too quickly. Those who shower you with gifts etc. It's not normal. It's too much.

pineappleeyes Tue 12-Jul-16 18:12:18

Omg winky. My first bff who I met at school sounds like the man you describe. Funnily enough he did exactly the same when we had a fling after I separated from my children's dad. Declared his love, bombarded me with compliments, messages etc. Then one day nothing. So this is the second time round for me this guy is just odd I think he is lacking emotionally I do not understand how they can switch off. You sound very wise now winky, hopefully one-day I'll be able to look back and be like you are flowers

winkywinkola Tue 12-Jul-16 18:52:46

Well. They switch off from you because they've moved onto the next person, I'm afraid.

You have had a lucky escape. Really.

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