I am new to online dating and after 2 years of being single I decided to go meet up with someone I've been speaking to for a week. I liked his personality from texting but on meeting, I'm really unsure about whether I can see myself having a relationship with him.
We met for coffee - he bought me a drink and we chatted for about 90 minutes. He was much taller than I expected (well over 6 feet tall) and I'm only 5'2 so I would prefer someone slightly shorter than him. He didn't seem to have made any effort with his appearance. I'd put on a nice outfit, styled my hair etc and he turned up in jeans, a fleece and his hair was not styled at all. I could spot bits of fluff in it which was off putting!
He seemed OK but there are a few things about him that have flagged up possible issues. He is a few years younger than me in his mid-twenties and I had to go out of my way to meet him at the train station as he wouldn't walk up to the coffee shop on his own (a 10 minute walk up a straight road.) He has a phone with Google maps so could easily have looked it up. I didn't mind but it was a bit odd.
He also seems immature. We were talking about the schools we went to and he said that he was good at school but sometimes did bad things. When I asked what, he said he'd once pulled a chair away from a classmate with a mental disability in front of the whole class so the classmate fell backwards. He said he didn't know why he did it. When I said that it was a mean thing to do and asked if he did it to impress others, he said "well, everyone was talking about it for ages!" as if that was something to be proud of. Then when he saw my face, he backtracked and said "I feel really sorry for him now though." Earlier he'd also been making fun of a man who had been with his company for work experience saying he was a weirdo. From what he said, the man sounded as if he could possibly have had Aspbergers or something.
This is a huge red flag for me as I have a close family member with a mental disability who I support closely. I also work with children with special needs. Anyone I am in a relationship with would need to be very accepting and understanding towards disability and I'm not sure this man is.
He wants to see me again - he texted as soon as he got home to say he wanted to arrange another meeting soon but I'm not sure if I want to give him another chance.
I'm a bit concerned because I can't remember the last time I was attracted to anyone. It's like any desire to have a partner stopped with my last relationship (which ended very suddenly and unexpectedly after he cheated.) I miss having someone to spend time with and feel close to but I have to work hard to stop mentally comparing everyone to my ex.
I liked chatting with this man (apart from that dodgy thing he said) but I don't fancy him at all. Do you think this is worth pursuing or should I move on?
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Relationships
Online date - thoughtless comment or red flag?
bonjournono · 11/07/2016 17:42
I liked chatting with this man (apart from that dodgy thing he said) but I don't fancy him at all. Do you think this is worth pursuing or should I move on?
Why would you want to pursue dating a man who you don't find attractive and whose attitude and behaviours are, at best, questionable? 
I'd call it a day with this one OP. If you don't have a spark with him and just don't want to see him again it's fair enough, just don't 
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Get yourself back in that dating pot right away, OP!
A couple more dates, and you'll be a pro at online dating, and you'll wonder why you ever considered a second date with this man, who sounds at best a tad immature.
Don't lose heart. You don't need to settle.
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