I've NC'd for this one.
I've been with DH for six years.
In the first year he told me a number of lies (texting another woman, financial issues, having had a bit more of a jaded past than he had admitted (nothing too awful)).
None of these was a deal breaker - but the fact he lied (consistently and to my face, even when directly asked) was a really big issue.
Over the course of the following year we talked and worked together to make the relationship work, I didn't just forgive and forget, we really worked on it.
Everything has been plain sailing for five years, no new secrets/lies have emerged - we've got married, I'm pregnant (30 weeks).
Every-so-often the fear that he is lying/hiding things from me resurfaces, we talk it through, he reassures me, he doesn't get angry or try to shut down my fears, he just says he's sorry.
Just recently (and filled with hormones) I've started to worry again...
On our 'find my phone' family set up I can see his mobile device, fine... but I also see another iPhone belonging to him. He says an old iPhone that was 'attached' to his iTunes/ Apple account before we met. I think this is probably true.
I happen to notice he had googled 'compartmentalisation' (I know, I know this is ridiculous...like, borderline crazy) but it rang all sorts of warning bells, because if he was cheating in some way - then compartmentalisation is exactly what he would need to do.
For transparency... I am by-nature jealous and anxious - it's something I've dealt with my whole adult life. In the main I get it right. I am also a massive worrier (if someone calls late at night, I presume someone is dead, if I don't hear from a friend or family member, I worry that they're either dead or furious with me). So as much as I'd recommend a friend listened to his/her 'gut' my gut is not always reliable.
The frustrating part is that day-to-day we are happy, we get on, we enjoy each other's company, we laugh and dance and have a good-old time...
So I throw this out to the MN jury - am I being ridic, or what?
Thanks in advance.
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Am I being paranoid?
7 replies
absentlyhoop · 11/07/2016 16:46
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