Advice on maintenance payments

[Renotry]

Hi all,

Wasn't really sure where to post this but couldn't think where else to put it! Just looking for some advice really, nothing is really a problem at the moment but just wondering if this is the norm.

My partner has a DD who is 6 years old. He and his ex have been separated for many years and they have always had an agreement for him to pay her maintenance directly. It is more than the recommended CSA but it is not logged officially, he pays her directly at handovers etc in cash as well as travel expenses and extras when needed.

She is considered as having full residency however partner has DD eow and school holidays. As this is my first experience of this (aside from my father who managed to dodge maintenance for my entire life!), I am just wondering is it normal and acceptable for parents to have this arrangement between themselves?

I can't see anything wrong with it whilst they are amicable, but whenever anything comes up which causes tension she can turn nasty quickly and I worry on his behalf as there is no paper trail or physical evidence of him ever paying anything for his child iyswim. I tend to be the meticulous type that worries about these things whereas DP is care free and doesn't think that matters. So whilst it's great that they can work between themselves when things are ok, I worry if anything were to ever get worse between them as it does at times.

What arrangements do you have between yourselves, is it all through CSA or do you have informal agreements?

Are they doing anything wrong legally by not disclosing her overnight stays with dad?

[Stylingwax]

My DP has always overpaid. CSA were involved last year as ex thought he earned more than he did and so she should get more. When she found out he earned less, she claimed she hadn't received payment for a year. Several payments DP had paid into her account in cash and lost the receipts (because he's an idiot). So we've just had to pay hundreds of pounds again as he had no proof.
Informal agreements are great and much better than via CMS (new CSA) in my opinion, plus I think NR parent should pay what they can over the minimum, which isn't a lot. But definitely get the payments documented then there's no wriggle room if anyone falls out.

[TheWeeBabySeamus1]

I think if they can sort it out between themselves and keep it amicable then that's best all round. And no, they're not doing anything wrong. Who would they declare it to if child support is paid on a private basis?

I think you need to leave it, it's between your dp and his ex. They made the child it's for them to decide how to work things now they're not together.

[Renotry]

I don't need to leave anything as I haven't brought this up, nor do I plan to do or say anything with them. I was just wondering for myself out of curiosity really as all of my experience with this has been through official channels. I generally don't want anything to do with ex, their relationship as parents or any of that business. Trust me I have learned to stay right out of that stuff. :D

[Renotry]

Stylingwax that was where I was going with this post mainly. The fact that the payments aren't recorded is strange to me as I keep receipts and logs for anything for anything of that nature and wouldn't want DP to have to go through what you did. However I haven't/don't think I will say anything as it is his decision to make.

[CremeEggThief]

If you can, it's always better to come to a voluntary arrangement. You only involve CSA (or whatever they're called now), if you can't trust the NRP to pay a fair amount and on time. In fact, you now have to pay to use their service.

[Emochild]

If the ex decided to the CMS they will only back date to the date she makes the claim -they won't even attempt to get historical payments

I wouldn't sweat it

[VimFuego101]

What emochild said. However, to save you any hassle could he have her sign a receipt or pay by cheque? If you ever need proof of your outgoings for a mortgage they might ask about large cash withdrawals.

[Renotry]

Thanks for the replies everyone, seems the arrangement is perfectly fine but it is smart to have evidence of the payments. I don't think I will suggest this to DP as I don't want to step on any toes, so just cross my fingers that their future arguments don't cause any problems with it.

Vim I had not thought of the future regarding mortgages and such, it is something to think about. My concern with it is mainly for when we combine our finances together and how we manage outgoings and accounts.

[ThisIsStartingToBoreMe]

Just out of curiousity, why does he pay CM in cash?

[Renotry]

I'm not sure to be honest, that's just how they've always done it since they meet in person when he picks her up/drops her off he has always withdrawn the cash in advance to give to her. I find it a little odd but have never questioned it.

[ladylambkin]

As previous poster said the CMS will only look at child maintenance due from when application is made so no need to get receipts. If it ain't broke why fix it. Your partner sounds like a good dad and stepping up to his responsibilities. I suggest that you don't over think things or get involved to be honest.

[weekendninja]

Could your DP pay via Internet banking? It woukd make life so much easier. I have no idea if they can backdate a claim but I guess it's always good to have a record for yourselves.

[smilingeyes11]

he needs to pay by bank transfer

[Renotry]

A pp said that they had to make payments due to receipts for maint being lost, however some say they don't backdate it or chase money, so I'm not sure how it works!

[Renotry]

A pp said that they had to make payments due to receipts for maint being lost, however some say they don't backdate it or chase money, so I'm not sure how it works!

[Renotry]

Sorry my internet is being weird and everything is double posting at the moment.

[bibliomania]

Renotry, they don't backdate it to before the date the claim was made. In these circs, it sounds like the sequence was:

• Payment agreed through CSA

-ExW asked for payment amount to be recalculated

• In the meantime, the exH is still making the payments in cash
• CSA informs parties of new payment amount. ExW is angry and claims exH wasn't making the proper payments recently. ExH has no evidence so has to pay.

So not backdated prior to original CSA involvement.

[smilingeyes11]

no they don't backdate it - but I would be ensuring he has proof of what he has paid regardless of that.

[Claraoswald36]

Emochilf is correct they don't backdate of its a new claim. The paying in cash is weird though