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DP didn't show up.

(151 Posts)
TwatbadgingCuntfuckery Sun 10-Jul-16 20:39:32

I like to keep these things short and to the point.

Had planned to spend a very very rare weekend alone with DP. Been over a year since we last had the chance to and this week I really really need it after a relative has been diagnosed with cancer. Need a good shoulder and all that. sad

WE don't live together but have been together for 2 years.

This has been planned for a good 4-5 mths. DC has SEN so we have to plan things like this.

Wasted all of Friday - he was meant to take the day of work and didn't tell me he couldn't until friday sad and would be here friday at 10pm. Fine but I woke up sat AM and he wasn't here. He has a key.

Wasted all of Saturday morning waiting thinking he would get an early AM start instead. He lives in another city and it takes 3 hours to get here. This has happened before because of weather/working late because of a deadline etc.

Got a message at lunchtime saying he was ill and 'will be down later on'. Got to 4pm and he still wasn't here so I had to call and cancel the surprise meal I'd planned. Fucking embarrassing to say your OH wasn't in town sad

I've been left alone, had to cancel the restaurant I had planned for sat eve - embarrassing to say your partner hasn't shown up sad and its now sunday evening and I've heard fuck all.

I'm flipping between absolutely furious and really not bothered at all.

Just feel so awfully let down and want to punch him for making me feel so terrible. I haven't even gone out and it has made this whole weekend so pointless.

I don't even know if I can get past this. It feels like a massive betrayal and I don't know If i'm being oversensitive right now or not. (period, plus sick relative etc)

cbigs Sun 10-Jul-16 20:44:57

Aww op that's really not on and he has let you down. sad without knowing what happened his excuses it's hard to comment on whether you should ltb or not... I'm sorry you feel shit and I'm really sorry to hear about your relatives diagnosis. flowers

InSohoWhereTheBoysGo Sun 10-Jul-16 20:47:30

OP have you posted about him before under another user name? Does he work in politics.

It sounds like he doesn't give a flying fuck to be honest. Is this good enough for you really? Is it even a relationship? Sounds like you're just an option to him.

JustHereForThePooStories Sun 10-Jul-16 20:48:00

I think I'd be concerned about his whereabouts and welfare at this stage. If I'm reading this right, you last heard from him 36 hours ago and, at that time, he was sick and embarking on a 3 hour drive.

Can you check with his family to see if he's ok?

BolshierAryaStark Sun 10-Jul-16 20:48:50

Is it possible that the illness was real & he's perhaps in hospital which may explain why you haven't heard from him? Just offering a possibility however unlikely it may seem, you never know...don't know him, does he have form for this?
If he's simply let you down then I'm sorry but it's not something I'd put up with.

ChaChaChaCh4nges Sun 10-Jul-16 20:48:51

But if he's poorly then surely he's got a good reason to not be with you? Wouldn't you phone to check on him?

Or do you think he's not really ill?

Cabrinha Sun 10-Jul-16 20:49:24

I don't think you need to know his excuses. Because only "I was knocked down and unidentified in a coma" is going to cut it for Sat, and doesn't explain Fri.

Bin him. It really doesn't sound like the first time he's let you down, especially as you're flipping to not being bothered.

I'm guessing that he isn't into this enough to do a 3 hour drive (you can't be lukewarm in a LDR). Doesn't excuse him not explaining that and bowing out politely though. Arsehole. Get rid. Sorry you've had a shit weekend 😟

Owllady Sun 10-Jul-16 20:52:27

He's playing you
If you have a child with sn you need someone a bit more grown up and reliable long term

Dutchcourage Sun 10-Jul-16 20:54:34

He isn't ill. What a wanker.

CrazyDuchess Sun 10-Jul-16 20:58:25

Have you tried to contact him and is he ignoring you?

P1nkP0ppy Sun 10-Jul-16 21:00:16

What a tossed.
I really feel your disappointment and frustration. I wonder what he really was doing? It smacks of a second life going on somewhere if it's over a year since you spent a weekend together and you're not a priority.

OhStacey Sun 10-Jul-16 21:00:39

Hmmm does sound strange. Even when I've had a migraine and been very ill I could text a couple of times and say so sorry or even call briefly.

Has he done this before?

penisbeakerlaminateflooringetc Sun 10-Jul-16 21:02:51

You are not being over sensitive. Unless he's in a coma, you deserve much better than this flowers

Sparkletastic Sun 10-Jul-16 21:05:43

Ring him. If he isn't in hospital bin him.

TwatbadgingCuntfuckery Sun 10-Jul-16 21:07:23

Yes, I've tried contacting him. Text, home phone and via social media. No answer.

No he isn't in politics.

If he was in hospital I am his only emergency contact and it would be likely they would call if that was the case - no family so I can't check with them, they are all dead.

No, he wasn't about to leave on the journey last time I spoke to him. He said he would try and make it later and I've heard nothing.

I'm at the only 'your limbs falling off' will do as an excuse for this and even then It's going to come with a severe bollocking.

Right now though, I don't even think I want to talk to him. Thats a bad sign isn't it?

Sparkletastic Sun 10-Jul-16 21:08:38

If there isn't a good reason for his behaviour then I think this would be a deal breaker for me.

TwatbadgingCuntfuckery Sun 10-Jul-16 21:08:56

Over a year since we spent a weekend alone because of DCs SEN usually DC is here and is very hard work/needs constant entertaining. We've spent weekends together recently just not fully alone.

wherethefuckisthefuckingtuna Sun 10-Jul-16 21:12:33

Fuck me, I'd be absolutely furious!!!!

What kind of a way is that for him to treat you? There's no respect there. There's no consideration either.

I actually feel angry on your behalf

I would seriously consider ending the relationship after that. Not just because what he's done is inconsiderate and thoughtless, but because it smacks of a total lack of respect.

Obvs this is all rescinded if something awful has happened to him

Owllady Sun 10-Jul-16 21:16:02

Do you really believe all his family and friends are dead?
Is he very, very old?

Owllady Sun 10-Jul-16 21:17:28

I'd be concerned about having someone so elusive around my child who has sn tbh (and yes I have one)

ChampagneCommunist Sun 10-Jul-16 21:20:43

No friends & family all dead? Last minute work cancelling holiday?

I'm voting for married. Sorry.

tupperwareAARGGH Sun 10-Jul-16 21:21:02

You are being played and I expect he has another family. I think you need to get rid of him, he sounds a total wanker tbh!

diddl Sun 10-Jul-16 21:21:49

Is he married?

Got kids that he had to look after?

CrazyDuchess Sun 10-Jul-16 21:22:11

What Owllady said.... has he really got no one??? That would ring alarm bells for me

NickNacks Sun 10-Jul-16 21:23:12

Oh good god he's married.

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