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Real dilemma - need advice

(8 Posts)
couldbecrazy85 Sun 10-Jul-16 18:45:44

I'll try and put all info in so as not to drop feed.

I've been dating a guy in the army for the last few months. We're both late twenties. He's been away quite a bit but kept in contact; in fact we have rarely gone a day without speaking. Neither of us have instigated 'the talk' yet but we have both confirmed we are not dating anyone else and after a heart to heart about previous relationships at the weekend I feel that we are really connecting. I like him a lot.

However in a couple of months he is being promoted and will be moving. He hasn't told me where; I believe it is overseas but not out of UK (don't want to give too much away). Although he has also mentioned Yorkshire. I feel that neither of us are bringing it up. I am also moving cities for a new job soon.

My dilemma is; firstly do I ask him to confirm where it is he is moving? And then what do I do? Part of me doesn't want to know because I want to see if the relationship develops naturally. However another part wants to question where and if he sees this relationship going anywhere. An LDR wouldn't be impossible as its only an hours flight from where I am moving but I would only do this with a commitment from him.

Any advice? I guess I'm enjoying myself at the moment but starting to fall and don't want to be hurt!

justdontevenfuckingstart Sun 10-Jul-16 18:48:08

Just ask. Get your answer and then see how you want to move on when you see how he sees things.

Trills Sun 10-Jul-16 19:01:52

Ask him.

What's the worst that could happen?

If he is somehow annoyed that you asked, then the relationship was not going anywhere anyway.

couldbecrazy85 Sun 10-Jul-16 19:08:50

I don't think he would be annoyed. I'm just worried about the answer I guess... Because it might kill the whole thing.

He is away now for two weeks and I don't think I can ask by text. So I guess it's a waiting game...

Trills Sun 10-Jul-16 19:10:54

If the answer will is that he's moving somewhere that is incompatible with you having a relationship, then would you rather know now, or would you prefer to not know for a bit longer?

Pigeon314 Sun 10-Jul-16 19:14:29

If I could go back to my 20s and talk to myself I'd say never apologise for having your own agenda. It's ok to want to know what his plans are, if you fit in to them, if he'll compromise, if he would LIKE you to meet him half way.
He will respect you more not less for being brave enough to say 'here's what I know (ie, you're moving away) and here's what I'd like...'

couldbecrazy85 Sun 10-Jul-16 19:28:20

I think that we haven't spent enough time together yet for us to have developed enough feelings to think about this properly. So I was planning on waiting a couple more months before I approached 'the talk' anyway.

However now I keep thinking about him moving, I'm getting worried that I'm going to be hurt. We've just spent an amazing few days together and I guess I've realised I like him more than just dating. I would be willing to try an LDR as to be honest we only see each other for a couple of days every few weeks anyway (it wouldn't be much different other than a flight rather than a drive). We also have a weekend away booked in a few weeks which again is more quality time to spend together before we make a judgement.

couldbecrazy85 Sun 10-Jul-16 19:30:32

Also I'm not interested in dating anyone else in my current city as I'm moving anyway. So then I would be totally alone. So I guess maybe it's a case of stop over-thinking and go with it...

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