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dp wont't get it into his thick head........

(57 Posts)
midlifehope Sun 10-Jul-16 06:21:45

....that leaving the back door unlocked and open throughout the night is a security risk.

We have 2 small dcs and I am often knackered so go to bed before dp at about 11pm (he goes at about 1am). When I wake up I find that he has left the back door open all night. Whilst we live in a 'safe' area, I think this is an idiotic thing to do. It makes me really angry. I have told him over and over to lock and shut doors before bed, but he doesn't listen. WTF can I do?

We have an elderly dog in the back room, who is incontinent. He thinks this will encourage her to toilet outside (it doesn't always).

I'm at the end of my tether with this.

isthistoonosy Sun 10-Jul-16 06:26:38

Fit a padlock lock the door when you go.to bed and take the key to bed with you.

He sounds very annoying thought

Isetan Sun 10-Jul-16 06:30:16

Take the key away from him, the safety of your children is far more important. Stop waste time trying to get through to someone who doesn't care to listen.

ChaChaChaCh4nges Sun 10-Jul-16 06:31:45

I'd not be happy with a padlock in case of fire.

He knows, BTW. He just doesn't care, for some reason, so doesn't bother.

DontDeadOpenInside Sun 10-Jul-16 06:31:59

Is he for real? shock

VioletBam Sun 10-Jul-16 06:32:02

Lock it yourself. My DH goes to bed after me often and he always leaves the front door unlocked. It's shit but I have my own failings so I just take control of that one myself.

midlifehope Sun 10-Jul-16 06:32:23

I would essentially be locking him in then though, and he has a fear of that. Also he has a bedtime cigarette outside, so when I lock the door, he unlocks it again.

NinjaNora Sun 10-Jul-16 06:34:38

The dog being old and incontinent is an active issue he's trying to address, potential nasty people entering your house doesn't seem as likely to him than the dog seeing everywhere.

Why not help find a solution to weeing dog that doesn't involve leaving the door open? Puppy pads are just one suggestion, I'm sure the helpful people in the dog kennel section can help.

Calling him thick isn't going to help, he probably thinks you are a selfish cow for not wanting to help the dog. Try talking to each other about your concerns for the dogs well being and the kids safety and find a solution.

midlifehope Sun 10-Jul-16 06:38:24

he has said he will put his dog out in a suitable area. like the garage. with warm bedding. But it doesn't happen

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Sun 10-Jul-16 06:40:16

His dog? Is it not a family pet?
Yes it is a security risk but calling him thick won't help.

midlifehope Sun 10-Jul-16 06:41:17

No it's 'his' dog, I have 2 dogs too.

midlifehope Sun 10-Jul-16 06:43:06

But I do most of the dog feeding, cleaning up, walking etc.

I'm just livid when I wake up and see the back door open again, putting my dcs at risk and invalidating any house insurance. Last night I didn't feel safe, so I ended up locking my bedroom door (with the 2 dcs in my bed) and he slept in the spare room.

NinjaNora Sun 10-Jul-16 06:57:22

Your language is very telling, my not our dog, children, insurance...

Sounds like you see bigger relationship issues than a dog or an unlocked door.

NinjaNora Sun 10-Jul-16 06:58:04

I meant 'my bedroom' not 'my insurance'

Theearthmoved Sun 10-Jul-16 06:58:53

If he leaves the door open for the dog, you mean he leaves it wide open so the dog can go in and out? No I wouldn't be happy if that was the case although I am a bit casual about locked doors myself.

Theearthmoved Sun 10-Jul-16 07:00:03

Have you been living together long? It sounds like you are unhappy with him being there.

BoomBoomsCousin Sun 10-Jul-16 07:00:22

It's not really much of a security risk for your DC. For your property, yes. But criminals don't go around trying door handles I the hope they'll find a couple of kids in bed. You are putting your kids at greater risk of harm every time you put them in a car. So maybe it's the hyperbole of talking about risk to your DCs that has him nodding and smiling and then ignoring you?

But it sucks to be burgled, maybe a calm discussion about how to help the dog without making that more likely would be more effective?

DoubleCarrick Sun 10-Jul-16 07:05:30

I think getting this worked up about an open door might not be helping the situation. Are you able to sit down and have a calm conversation with him about it?

midlifehope Sun 10-Jul-16 07:06:04

Yes theearthmooved completely open! Not even just agar.

JudyCoolibar Sun 10-Jul-16 07:10:39

Can't you put the dog in the garage before you go to bed? Or can you put a lock on the back room door, so that if anyone got in they couldn't get any further than the back room?

So far as your DH's evening smoke is concerned, surely the answer is for him to go out of the front door?

KERALA1 Sun 10-Jul-16 07:11:22

Explain it would invalidate your insurance ?

VioletBam Sun 10-Jul-16 07:12:30

What about a dog flap?

midlifehope Sun 10-Jul-16 07:13:13

kerala1 if you got burgled and there was no forced entry because the back door was open, that would invalidate a claim.

midlifehope Sun 10-Jul-16 07:14:37

Violet, good idea, but to be honest, she would lack the agility to get through a dog flap. She's really on her last legs!

ScarletForYa Sun 10-Jul-16 07:15:53

Lock the door yourself, take the key to bed. He can have his cigarette out the front and the dog is his problem.

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