I have posted as many names, most recently Stuckinamoment1 and UpDownUpDown. I have posted for many months.
I have left. Tonight is my first night in my new home.
It feels a bit unreal.
But.... here I am as planned in my new house in my very very very comfy bed with crisp new bedclothes, and drinking a glass of wine. I cannot tell you how deliciously comfortable my bed is.
DC are asleep in new rooms.
I deregistered less than a week ago to force myself to deal with my life. I had amazing advice and support here but had got in a rut of constant panics and second thoughts. I didn't know when, how or even if I was really going to leave. I felt like I might just give up altogether.
But everything just somehow fell into place. An amazing counsellor sat with me and made a step by step practical plan for today. And reinforced what I'd been told here - to try and stop analysing for now and focus on leaving. At the end of the session she said "See you on the other side". I still didn't believe I'd do it.
But here I am. Somehow I found the bit of courage I'd been missing. The best way I can describe my feelings is FINE. I am genuinely fine. I don't feel any extremes. A little bits of lots of things but no panic. I know there are likely to be ups and downs to come but I know I can do it.
There are so many lovely MNers to thank. You've been amazing. Advice has been spot on.
I have a lot of work to do to make a new life for myself. And to make things ok for DC. But others before me have done it and I will too.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
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On the other side - in a lovely comfy bed (first night!). Massive thank you MN. [flowers]
myownperson · 09/07/2016 21:08
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