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On the other side - in a lovely comfy bed (first night!). Massive thank you MN. [flowers]

(108 Posts)
myownperson Sat 09-Jul-16 21:08:25

I have posted as many names, most recently Stuckinamoment1 and UpDownUpDown. I have posted for many months.

I have left. Tonight is my first night in my new home. smile

It feels a bit unreal.

But.... here I am as planned in my new house in my very very very comfy bed with crisp new bedclothes, and drinking a glass of wine. I cannot tell you how deliciously comfortable my bed is.

DC are asleep in new rooms.

I deregistered less than a week ago to force myself to deal with my life. I had amazing advice and support here but had got in a rut of constant panics and second thoughts. I didn't know when, how or even if I was really going to leave. I felt like I might just give up altogether.

But everything just somehow fell into place. An amazing counsellor sat with me and made a step by step practical plan for today. And reinforced what I'd been told here - to try and stop analysing for now and focus on leaving. At the end of the session she said "See you on the other side". I still didn't believe I'd do it.

But here I am. Somehow I found the bit of courage I'd been missing. The best way I can describe my feelings is FINE. I am genuinely fine. I don't feel any extremes. A little bits of lots of things but no panic. I know there are likely to be ups and downs to come but I know I can do it.

There are so many lovely MNers to thank. You've been amazing. Advice has been spot on.

I have a lot of work to do to make a new life for myself. And to make things ok for DC. But others before me have done it and I will too.

Flisspaps Sat 09-Jul-16 21:10:10

I've not read your back story but WELL DONE flowersflowerswinewinegrin

I hope you and you DC are very happy in your new home.

sooperdooper Sat 09-Jul-16 21:11:33

I haven't followed your other threads but I'm so glad to hear you and your Dc are safe and in your lovely new home and I genuinely wish you all the best of luck & enjoy your wine! Well done you for getting yourself where you are smile

daisydalrymple Sat 09-Jul-16 21:12:41

Happy new home, you've done amazingly well. Hope your new home is filled with much love and happiness for you and your children. X flowers wine

ClaireVoyante Sat 09-Jul-16 21:14:45

Awww bless you! I think the leading up to leaving is the hardest part. Once you get going it does all fall into place and isn't it so so much better?

Well done. Enjoy having the bed to yourself smile It's the best. No one taking up your space, the duvet, making you too hot, snoring, shuffling, groping, breathing even smile

PerspicaciaTick Sat 09-Jul-16 21:16:19

Fantastic news OP, well done.
I hope you and your DC enjoy your new home very much.
There may be bumps along the way in future. Hold on to the memory of your new bed, the fresh bed linen, the feeling of contentment that blazes from your OP...the memory of tonight will help you through.

springydaffs Sat 09-Jul-16 21:44:45

Ah yes, I remember the ABSOLUTE BLISS of being FREEEEE

Blardy well done!! wine flowers

Agree the lead-up is the worst bit by far. Real mental stuff sometimes. But it's so worth it when you're free, your own person, lavishing in your own place <BIG SIGH>

I wish you and your dc peace and endless happiness in your new life and home flowers flowers

(Thanks for coming back to tell us star)

FreeFromHarm Sat 09-Jul-16 21:57:41

Well done OP, so pleased, everything will fall into place, still here for you .

myownperson Sat 09-Jul-16 22:18:15

Thanks for lovely replies. There is a definite feeling of relief.

LastGirlOnTheLeft Sat 09-Jul-16 22:20:40

Wow! You are one inspirational person! I am so thrilled for you Myown, and wish you only good things in your many happy years

Yokebe Sat 09-Jul-16 22:25:18

flowers enjoy every minute, the DCs will probably jump in with you for cuddles, well done star

tiredvommachine Sat 09-Jul-16 22:33:43

Thank you for posting.

It's wonderful to read that you've made the leap and will reap the benefits but also, you may well inspire others who are in the same position but don't feel able to make that final break.

Enjoy the peace flowers

myownperson Sat 09-Jul-16 22:52:00

I didn't know when, how or even if I was really going to leave.
This may be misleading for those thinking about finishing, or thinking I'm inspirational. There was a plan in place but I wasn't convinced I'd go. I didn't get from deciding to leave to here in one week, though I know other women do sometimes have to move quickly. It took me a long time.

My the biggest realisation over the last week was that I needed to give up wanting his "permission" to finish, to give up wanting to make a joint plan.

LastGirlOnTheLeft Sat 09-Jul-16 22:57:51

Your achievement is even greater then. To not be sure, yet go for it. To change a complete are even more inspirational than I realised. Than YOU realise.

Well done, sweetie!

I don't think I had any input to your previous freds, but you're clearly a lovely, inspiring tiger-woman.

Huge hugs.

Ilovecharliecat Sun 10-Jul-16 02:22:35

I'm a new poster to MN, however I left a very unhappy marriage 11years ago. It was the best decision of my life, rented a house, furnished it and then told my controlling ex that I was leaving, to say he was surprised is an understatement. I'm not saying that it's easy, but I'm very glad that I had the strength to make the move. Best wishes OP, I truly hope that everything works out well for you

GarlicStake Sun 10-Jul-16 02:54:10

WOW! Fantastic! Thank you for telling us, myown smile

So glad you got everything in place and are comfy. It sounds great! Wishing you all the luck & support you might need, and very much happiness with your new, relaxed family flowers

myownperson Sun 10-Jul-16 07:14:13

Thanks all. In bed with DC watching DVDs. We're still all ok. After worrying so long, we're fine.

AnotherEmma Sun 10-Jul-16 14:31:59

WOOHOO! Best update ever. Well done, you should be proud of yourself smile star

AcrossthePond55 Sun 10-Jul-16 15:05:47

Hooray for you!!

A new home, a new life, a new, confident, beautiful YOU!

Life is sweet. Maybe bittersweet at times, but as long as you are Captain of your own ship, there will be more sweet.

I'm so, so proud of you. Keep it up. Remember 'you are a child of the universe'

myownperson Sun 10-Jul-16 18:04:52

Thanks both. I feel "lighter" today. Almost in a tangible way - like it must be noticeable to people.

I'm going to give myself a week (mainly to sleep!) before I tackle the next stage.

I had a lovely nap with my little one on my chest this afternoon while DC1 was out with STBX. It was a peaceful sleep.

Across I won't forget. Thank you again.

Anonymouses Sun 10-Jul-16 18:12:54

Well done. Focus on the future. You've done the hard part now comes the amazing adventure.

SomeonesRealName Sun 10-Jul-16 18:16:18

Well done OP you are so strong. The other side is wonderful. Stay on your path and don't look back you're not going that way xxx

CharlotteCollins Sun 10-Jul-16 18:20:46

Fantastic news. It is so different the other side, isn't it? Great realisation about not having out needing his permission. And very sensible to give yourself a week before doing anything else. That counsellor sounds fab, too.

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard Sun 10-Jul-16 18:52:08

[flowres] wine chocolate

I don't ever undestimate how difficult it is to carry through a plan that seems so obvious to the people on the outside.

Good luck OP for you and your DCs. I hope you all enjoy a peaceful and amazing new life.

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