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6 months relationship what stage are you at

(16 Posts)
Mamalicious16 Sat 09-Jul-16 17:54:29

Been wrong my boyfriend around 6 months. But at weekends whether he has his son or not, I feel a bit ghosted as he does his own thing. Am I being needy? Been married and never had this before........

Mamalicious16 Sat 09-Jul-16 17:55:01

Seeing not wrong!

Mum4Fergus Sat 09-Jul-16 18:09:10

It depends on the individuals I think. My previous relationship we were living together after 3 months (together 8yrs and have a DS who is 6), current relationship together 14 months, in own houses but see each other most days...horses for courses.

Mintychoc1 Sat 09-Jul-16 18:12:38

Do you have children OP? If not, or if you do but have child-free weekends that coincide with his, then I think it's reasonable to expect to see him then. I wouldn't expect to see him when he had his son, but I would expect texts and possibly phone calls in the evening. How often do you see him in the week?

Mamalicious16 Sat 09-Jul-16 18:18:42

I have three dc and the two older ones are nearby adults my youngest I have full time with maybe an overnight off Monday or Tuesday which is our "date night ". Last week I saw him two nights this week three

TheStoic Sat 09-Jul-16 18:18:49

At 6 months we were seeing each other as much as humanly possible when not at work or with our own kids. At 18m (now), that's still the case.

Mamalicious16 Sat 09-Jul-16 18:19:17

Nearly not nearby! Oh my days I can't type!

Mamalicious16 Sat 09-Jul-16 18:20:41

He has ASD - it's been a bit of a rollercoaster already.......

Mamalicious16 Sat 09-Jul-16 18:24:38

When I've broached the subject he says it's not healthy to see each other all the time and sometimes he just wants "me" time. Maybe it's me.........

Mintychoc1 Sat 09-Jul-16 19:59:41

It's perfectly fine to want "me time", especially if you work and have a child that you sometimes look after. Everyone needs time to themselves, we just all differ in how much we need. It sounds as if your boyfriend is happy with the level of contact you have, but you're not. Neither of you is right or wrong (although I'd say he is more unusual in my opinion), but if the disparity is an issue then you need to try and resolve it if possible. I'd also want to know if this is how he envisages things always being, or if he'd expect contact to increase over time.

user1467042399 Sat 09-Jul-16 20:42:36

He is playing x box in he's room and I'm watching tennis downstairs ( well background noise)

user1467042399 Sat 09-Jul-16 20:43:04

That's after 18 months but we were comfortable doing our own thing long before that.

Somerville Sat 09-Jul-16 21:14:37

OP, I think what matters more than where other people are at after 6 months is how you feel about where you're at.

I agree with Mintychoc - if you're unhappy about not seeing him at weekends then ask if he envisaged it changing and if so, when that might be.
Also, with his ASD, part of his coping strategy may well be significant time on his own to decompress. He also might not have clicked that a lot of couples go out together or with friends on a Frriday night and that this is a societal norm that would mean a lot to you. If you put it in that way you might be able to find a compromise.

Caveat: one of my best friends has Aspergers and this is the kind of conversation we had from time to time, back before she was married, when she couldn't understand things like why a boyfriend wanted to take her to meet his parents on the evening she usually did laundry. smile But I know everyone with ASD is different.

Princesspinkgirl Sat 09-Jul-16 22:34:58

I'm 4 and a half months in a new relationship I'm pregnant his baby and we live together

TheNaze73 Sat 09-Jul-16 23:39:30

I'd be doing my own thing & maybe seeing them twice a week

Dutchcourage Sat 09-Jul-16 23:44:51

Completly depends on individual.

Ex before Dh we dated for four years - never moved in Just slept at each other's house at weekends. We argued a lot

Dh basically moved in after around three weeks. It turned from 'I'll call round after work if that's ok' to ' I'll be round when I've finished' to 'I'll be home at five' hmm

He really was like an old pair of slippers, there was no games, no pretence. We both like each other and just went for it.

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