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Does this ring true ?

(70 Posts)
Purplespy Sat 09-Jul-16 16:32:12

Ive recently posted a thread and left my controlling partner . I've had immense fantastic help from Wonens Refuge they have been truly amazing and kept me as safe as possible whilst undergoing the split and after . However , something has been bothering me and was wandering if anyone thinks thus rings true ....
Just before I left my partner he said

Purplespy Sat 09-Jul-16 16:37:28

Sorry not finished .. He said he may undergo some work for the government and needed information about me and my family and my ex husband like addresses numbers etc which I thought was probably right but I was reluctant to give it . He also said they want to know if I have credit cards !!?? I only got one just before I left but never told him and I had no mail about it at that point . I asked why they would want to know that and he said they will already know but will want to see if we are lying because if we are he won't get the contract ! I never told him I had it . Now I'm worrying that I've 1) handed over information that isn't mine to give and 2 ) I never disclosed the credit card confused

Purplespy Sat 09-Jul-16 16:39:37

Does anyone know if this sounds right or is it another thing I was blinded by ?

gettingtherequickly Sat 09-Jul-16 16:40:06

There's limited info that they would need, addresses etc but not credit card details. I'd he's a bullshitter then it's probably bullshit.

ElspethFlashman Sat 09-Jul-16 16:41:57

Sorry, that was a load of shite. All bollocks.

GruffaloPants Sat 09-Jul-16 16:42:32

It sounds made up. Ask at your refuge for advice about what to do. You might need to let people know he has their details.

Don't feel bad about it. He sounds very sneaky.

hesterton Sat 09-Jul-16 16:43:42

Worrying shite too. Check your accounts.

Purplespy Sat 09-Jul-16 16:44:07

Yes thanks I will ask my worker at refuge but she's not in till Tuesday and it was playing on my mind . Bastard x

Purplespy Sat 09-Jul-16 16:45:48

I've checked the account and nothing However no mail will go to that house to do with the bank / card etc as everything changed

ElspethFlashman Sat 09-Jul-16 16:46:00

I remember your other thread and given that he was stalking your movements and probably had a hidden camera in the house I imagine he will now be keeping an eye on the addresses you gave him to track you further.

He will be checking your exes address to see if you're shagging him.

OlennasWimple Sat 09-Jul-16 16:49:45

If he needed to get very high up security clearance, part of the process would include reviewing personal finances (to ensure he isn't a risk for bribery). They would ask about things like credit cards in general terms (how many he had, how much was owed, had he missed a payment etc). They would also ask about your financial history as his wife. (And would also need family member addresses, particularly if they are non-British Citizens)

But... They only do this for personal security clearance, it's very expensive and time consuming so is unlikely to be conducted for external contractors. And doesn't form part of the process for contract rendering either. So he is probably trying it on

PM me if you have more details you don't want to share on here but want to check out if they are legitimate requests for personal info

AntsMarching Sat 09-Jul-16 16:50:10

When I was going through security clearance, I had to answer about loans/credit cards that my husband might have, so that bit could make be true if you were living with him at the time he asked. the reason for asking is to find out if there are debts which might mean the applicant would be open to bribes. I wouldn't worry that your new card will matter or even be found out.

GruffaloPants Sat 09-Jul-16 16:50:22

Well done for not telling him about your credit card, and for getting away.

Purplespy Sat 09-Jul-16 16:52:32

I think he knows there's no chance of that but the ex husband recently moved address which it will be driving him mad not knowing where it is as it's just another location he can check where I am

Purplespy Sat 09-Jul-16 17:01:15

Yea maybe it was for bribery concerns . I just think it's a bit f a wide span to ask my exes address

OlennasWimple Sat 09-Jul-16 17:03:36

Can you clarify what your husband said he needed the info for? If his work is tendering for a government contract, addresses and credit card details are completely irrelevant. Possibly legitimate if he is getting personal security clearance

Purplespy Sat 09-Jul-16 17:06:20

No he's my partner not my husband . It's my ex husbands details he wanted . He just said he may at some point in the future be asked to go immediately and clearance would be needed without waiting

Costacoffeeplease Sat 09-Jul-16 17:07:24

I call complete bullshit - he's just trying to control you again, the fucker. I hope you're completely free of him and not in any contact whatsoever

OlennasWimple Sat 09-Jul-16 17:11:35

Sorry, I meant your partner

Go where? What is his line of business?

It's possibly a brilliant lie, as there may be just enough truth in it (security clearance does take ages to process, so can in some circumstances be done in advance) to make you less suspicious

But I'm still inclined to call BS

VulcanWoman Sat 09-Jul-16 17:18:49

I agree, a load of BS. If there were a job, who cares if he got the 'contract/job' anyway, you don't owe him anything, you're nothing to do with him any more thank goodness.

diddl Sat 09-Jul-16 17:24:45

Why would your family & ex have to be checked out for him to do work?

JackieAndHyde4eva Sat 09-Jul-16 17:27:58

Give him nothing!!

if his employers need it then they will contact you and your ex husband directly. Just like if they needed a reference from a former employer, they would go directly to the employer.

But they dont need it. He is bullshitting. Do not give him anything.

VulcanWoman Sat 09-Jul-16 17:28:56


Lookatyourwatchnow Sat 09-Jul-16 17:36:46

Oh, what utter bullshit.

OlennasWimple Sat 09-Jul-16 17:38:08

Jackie, sorry, that's not true regarding security clearance

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