Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Ghosted by he wants me back, what do I do?

(34 Posts)
NewbieElizabeth Sat 09-Jul-16 13:47:21

I would really appreciate any thoughts on this!

November 2014 I met a man through a temporary job I had. Met on a night out, swapped numbers, I told him my plan was to move abroad for a year and was looking for a job. He didn't seem bothered by this, texted me a lot and flirted. I got my job abroad and I told him, he arranges to meet the night before I move.

The day comes, and I text him. He never replied, and the next day I moved. I was pretty upset, and wondered what had happened, but got on with my life.

May 2015 out of the blue he contacted me. It turned out he had stopped all contact because....he got a huge spot near his lip that day and didn't want to kiss me or for me to see it hmm

Because of the way we lost contact, I have always wondered what could have been. Now, I'm back in the UK for good within a few weeks and he has said he wants to give it a go.

My instincts say no way he cannot be trusted but a small part of me wonders....Is this a bad idea?

Thank you for reading!

gettingtherequickly Sat 09-Jul-16 13:50:13

Yes I think it's a bad idea, if he'd wanted to see you he would have.

quicklydecides Sat 09-Jul-16 13:50:37

So were you actually girlfriend and boyfriend?
It sounds like you weren't.
And he wants to"gives it a go"..... does that just mean"go out on a date"
I'm wondering why it's all so dramatic and serious?

gaggiagirl Sat 09-Jul-16 13:53:22

Eh? You haven't even had one date with him!

NewbieElizabeth Sat 09-Jul-16 13:53:25

quickly, thanks for your reply, we were together officially (but of course not serious)for a matter of weeks, probably two weeks before he ghosted me, sorry that isn't very clear. By give it a go he means get back together.

Thanks also gettingtherequickly this is what I'm thinking

TheStoic Sat 09-Jul-16 13:53:26

What happens next time he gets a better offer spot on his lip? Will he run away and hide like a 5yo?

penguinplease Sat 09-Jul-16 13:55:43

It hasn't worked out with anyone else in the time you've been away so he'd like another go?
Don't waste your time!

Isetan Sat 09-Jul-16 13:56:29

May 2015 out of the blue he contacted me. It turned out he had stopped all contact because....he got a huge spot near his lip that day and didn't want to kiss me or for me to see it hmm.

Well that was quite the crisis, no wonder he disappeared. Seriously OP, WTAF! Block this twat and stop asking 'what if?' and start asking 'why am I giving this idiot a second thought?'

NewbieElizabeth Sat 09-Jul-16 13:56:45

Apologies my bid to edit my OP I left out a very important part, that we were together for a few weeks. Ha Thestoic I don't want to be cynical but I did wonder if he was in a long term relationship and as I was going away he thought he could get away with it, but she found out, he got back in touch with me after they split up...don't know

NewbieElizabeth Sat 09-Jul-16 13:58:07

Isetan that made me laugh. A flipping spot wouldn't stop me if I really wanted to see someone what's for sure

Whocansay Sat 09-Jul-16 14:01:18

Even if you take his reason at face value, it makes him a complete, shallow idiot. Why bother?

He's heard you're coming back an fancies a shag, imho. I'd tell him to do one personally.

Whocansay Sat 09-Jul-16 14:02:03

and fancies a shag! Need to check before posting!

Lookatyourwatchnow Sat 09-Jul-16 14:04:25

No OP!

NewbieElizabeth Sat 09-Jul-16 14:09:27

I need to check my posts too, missed out half the info needed blush

It looks like I might be right to follow my instincts to stay away though...pretty unanimous

FairyDogMother11 Sat 09-Jul-16 14:11:15

I'd like to hope you want better for yourself than that. Leave him behind and move forward on to someone who actually is worth your time!

0dfod Sat 09-Jul-16 14:15:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EarthboundMisfit Sat 09-Jul-16 14:30:25

Yeah steer well clear.

NewbieElizabeth Sat 09-Jul-16 14:31:06

Thanks Fairy - probably the crux of the issue

Thanks all for your comments

TaliZorahVasNormandy Sat 09-Jul-16 14:32:22

A spot! Dumbest excuse ever.

Just ignore him and stop thinking "What if?" and start thinking, "Thank fuck I got rid of that twat"

handslikecowstits Sat 09-Jul-16 14:38:46

Sounds as though he is on a sexual drought atm and is going through his little black book

Yup. Booty call.

NewbieElizabeth Sat 09-Jul-16 14:44:48

I get the sexual drought comments.

I'm not 100% sure that's it, simply because we have spoken for over a year with me not being in the UK so it isn't the easiest lead up in his eyes! Not sure he would bother...

However, whatever he wants from me, I was clearly not worth so much as a text message in his eyes and I think this speaks about what kind of future we would have

Arfarfanarf Sat 09-Jul-16 14:56:52

He got a spot.

He must think you are as thick as mince.

I mean, that's not even trying

I wouldnt give him the time of day op, if i were you.

He treated you shabbily, showed you zero respect and he thinks you are so thick that you'll believe his ludicrous spot garbage AND so desperate that you'll welcome him back with open arms.

Id be insulted, tbh.

Jemmima Sat 09-Jul-16 16:24:32

Did you have sex the night before you left?

Jemmima Sat 09-Jul-16 16:27:45

Did you contact him to say you were back? How did he know?

user1467042399 Sat 09-Jul-16 16:28:48

How old are you both?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now