Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Toxic people

(4 Posts)
AteIckingAmes Fri 08-Jul-16 20:22:52

I'm fully aware my step dad is toxic. ( Raised us from 2-15 ) from waking me in the middle of the night to tell me he was going to kill himself, to making out like it was him and us kids against my mum, making us believe my mum was awful, giving me an old phone when i was 14 and clearing everything off it but porn and dirty texts to woman. He's been splitnwith my mum for 10 years now and still makes out she ruined his life. Telling me what I'd said and what I'd meant when I said something. Changing history to suit himself.

So I'm aware of some toxic signs.

I'm worried another person in my life is toxic and its really upset me.

Me and said person are quite close. But they do have form for taking offence and then ignoring me or whoever has offended them for months. Whenever I spend time with this person, if their not slagging off their husband their slagging off their kids or friends.

Its well known this person always has someone their mad at. Recentky they've fell out with someone. And they keep getting mad over things they've assumed has happened or even worse when they get mad about soktuing they assume has been said. When I told them to stop assuming stuff and getting mad about it, they didn't speak to me for 2 days.

I don't want to think this person is also toxic but I'm starting to think maybe they are.

justpeachy74 Fri 08-Jul-16 20:41:30

Oh dear said person sounds like hard work! I know the sort of person you mean. Do you get some enjoyment out of the friendship or is it just hard work?

lasttimeround Sat 09-Jul-16 09:21:33

I think when you've had a parent figure who has a personality disorder or traits of one then you generally develop ways of relating or responding to others that enable oe attraft that kind person. That's just a tendency it doesn't mean you're doomed to having relationshipsome with people who are shitty to you just you need to work a bit against what you're used to.

But someone who freezes you out hurt days cos you said something sensible is someone who treats you as an appendage (ie your role is to facilitate/support them without question ) that's not a sign of a good friendship and it may be the friendship is based on you taking on that role and do not open to change

dudsville Sat 09-Jul-16 09:28:03

Good relationships feel good. Sounds like this isn't one. Look after yourself and politely bow out.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now