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Ex's stuff getting on my nerves

(31 Posts)
user1467976192 Fri 08-Jul-16 12:40:06

Aibu I moved in with my partner (don't really want to call him darling atm) 18 months ago, I have always hated the house one of the main reasons been it was the family home for his ex, him and their 2 children. Anyway cut a long story short I got my way and we are finally moving.
However yesterday I went into a cupboard in the bedroom to clear it out and found some of her stuff, boots, Brest pads and a blindfold. I am furious as my partner is ocd about my stuff if I leave anything lying around he moves it and calls me messy yet he is hoarding his ex's stuff, he claims he didn't know they were there and out of sight out of mind. But now I just want to leave him and move on my own

MaliceInWonderland78 Fri 08-Jul-16 12:48:06

What sort of blindfold? grin grin grin

Grow up.

ladylambkin Fri 08-Jul-16 12:51:09

Yabu its totally normal to have things stored in a cupboard and not know they are there until you start emptying it.

pinkieandperkie Fri 08-Jul-16 12:51:32

You've lived there eighteen months and didn't know what was in the cupboard?

stopfuckingshoutingatme Fri 08-Jul-16 12:52:28

you have lived there for 18 months and not opened a cupboard in the room you sleep?

PigletWasPoohsFriend Fri 08-Jul-16 12:53:32

How about you grow up.

You sound extremely childish and foot stamping to 'get your own way'

user1467976192 Fri 08-Jul-16 12:53:48

I never felt like it was my home her stuff has been all over the house so I knew I would find more

TheWeeBabySeamus1 Fri 08-Jul-16 12:54:30

Boots, breastpads and a blindfold? I don't think it's the exs, I think your DP dresses in them for sexy parties while you're out. wink

user1467976192 Fri 08-Jul-16 12:57:19

Lol I wish he did I must point out the Brest pads were ones women wear to avoid leakage when Brest feeding

candybar007 Fri 08-Jul-16 14:36:03

18 months is way too long, big Black sack time, throw it all out.

SandyY2K Fri 08-Jul-16 16:23:28


Neither you or he knew the stuff was there, but if you want to leave then go ahead.

You're sounding like a jealous OW at the moment.

He had a life before you and as you moved in there was always going to be reminders of her.

Why do you hate her so much.

KittyLaRoux Fri 08-Jul-16 16:26:26

Grow up. You got your way and you are moving. Just bin everything of hers as you pack.

TheNaze73 Fri 08-Jul-16 16:31:40

Just bin the lot & accept that your partner had a past

LittleSparkes Fri 08-Jul-16 16:36:19

Get over it
He has decided to be with you and has agreed to move house because you don't like being in that one... most would be happy to have a roof over their head and food in their belly.

I moved in with my partner after his ex left and found photographs of them together. I put them in the bin. no issue, no tears, and no arguments.

LittleSparkes Fri 08-Jul-16 16:37:38

Oh and by the way - we still live in the same place 2 years later!!!!

cosmicglittergirl Fri 08-Jul-16 16:42:30

Just throw it out.

Cabrinha Fri 08-Jul-16 17:53:59

I used my husband's XGF's hair dryer for years.

You sound very young. Like, 15 young.

Is that actually any good reason to waste money on legal fees, moving costs and stamp duty?

Cabrinha Fri 08-Jul-16 17:54:57

Love how 3 things in a cupboard you've not been near in years yourself is "hoarding"!

wonderingsoul Fri 08-Jul-16 18:03:46


Are you normally so jelouse? Or was you the ow? Because im failing to see how you are this insecure? Theres got to be more to this?

Germgirl Fri 08-Jul-16 18:08:05

I moved into the house my dh and his ex lived in. There were lots of boys and pieces of hers left here. I just got rid of things as & when it seemed the best thing to do. Your partner isn't 'hoarding', he's probably forgotten the stuff is there.
Stuff is just that, things, objects. They don't matter. I'm still using the tea towels and some kitchen utensils that the ex wife bought, why wouldn't I? They're in the house, they're perfectly useable, why waste money on throwing everything out and buying more? I'm not suggesting you use her blindfold or breast pads but just chuck em. You've 'got your way', you've won. Well done you.

Germgirl Fri 08-Jul-16 18:08:57

bits and pieces! She didn't leave any boys here.
not that I've found yet anyway

LittleSparkes Fri 08-Jul-16 18:11:00

Possible trust issue?

That's the only reason I can see that you'd get so unnecessary over this.

It is incredibly childish..... especially as you don't want t call him DP yet as its only 18 months but you getting this wound up over some minor items. I'm sure he doesn't cry into her breast pads whilst your not watching.

2nds Fri 08-Jul-16 18:13:14

My fella still has his wedding photographs Lying in a bag upstairs. He was divorced before I met him and I've no idea why he kept the printed wedding photos but he did.

I've never had an issue with them, his mother is in the pictures and she passed away before I met him. He has offered to throw them out but I said no keep them because you don't have very many pics of your mum.

OP I think your issues run deeper than the items. Did his marriage end before of after you met him? Did you try to stop him from seeing his kids?

I'd let the items stay there, people have a past and he's already giving up the house that is full of memories of his young kids because you wanted him to.

Give the man a break and let the subject go.

2nds Fri 08-Jul-16 18:20:16

Littlesparkles I found a pic of my fella and his ex wife in a beautiful frame lying at the bottom of a wardrobe. I ripped the pic of him and her out of it and kept the frame. About a year or so goes by and we went for our 12 week scan and I put our scan picture in the frame :-). The frame now holds a pic of our eldest child lying in her cot. It was far too good to chuck out :-)

LittleSparkes Fri 08-Jul-16 18:22:30

2nds sadly they weren't in a beautiful frame but shoved on a shelf with old birthday and valentines cards. Definitely good to put something like that to use though.

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