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Don't know what is next

(7 Posts)
Shortbackandsides Fri 08-Jul-16 08:15:45

I posted in aibu yesterday about my husband, who refused to take dd to the out of hours clinic, even though I begged him to because I needed a break from her after 3 days of clinginess vomiting and diahhrea.

We haven't spoken since. He worked late yesterday evening and then came home, didn't bother eating the dinner I had cooked and didn't attempt to speak to me (nor I to him). I went out to the shops for an hour after the kids had gone to bed as I have been stuck in the house all week. Came back and he was gone to bed. He has gone to work now after not attempting to speak to me.

Why do I feel like I've done something wrong? I'm still annoyed with him but part of me wants to just back down, talk to him and be over it. Except I know he won't apologise. I don't think he even sees that he has done wrong. If be came home and said sorry it would be a start. Meanwhile dd is still ill and I've got no support or even sympathy from him. Not sure where to go from here.

Shakey15000 Fri 08-Jul-16 08:20:43

I read your other thread. If it was me I'd be heading to a solicitor. You're hanging out for an apology that won't come. Or you can break the ice, wait till the next time he leaves you to do everything, then wonder all over again.

LIZS Fri 08-Jul-16 08:22:07

I didn't see previous thread but ooh for d and v seems unnecessary, especially if you have been there all day. If you want to break the deadlock don't you need to say something. Maybe even a short text to open the conversation, can we talk later ?

Shortbackandsides Fri 08-Jul-16 08:27:28

She was quite unwell and had become lethargic and unresponsive so the dr asked me to bring her in to be checked for dehydration. I'm worried that of I break my silence, he will take it as me backing down and then he won't apologise. Sounds stupid when I wrote it down.

smilingeyes11 Fri 08-Jul-16 08:38:53

silence and sulking is a form of emotional abuse. Why are you putting up with him, he sounds vile and like he doesn't care about you at all. I would be seeing a solicitor too.

Shortbackandsides Fri 08-Jul-16 08:46:17

In fairness smiling the silence is going both ways so I suppose we are as bad as each other in that regard. I don't want to separate, I love him and despite this situation, he is lovely and normally good with the kids. But like shakey said, if I break the ice now, won't I be wondering the same thing again the next time we have a similar argument?

LIZS Fri 08-Jul-16 09:03:58

Read the other one now and feel a bit confused. I assume your a sahm so does he leave the childcare etc to you by default? He is unlikely to apologise and sounds as if he might be being deliberately unhelpful to avoid future expectations. Still not sure why you decided in advance that she needed gp but felt it could wait until ooh, either it was urgent or not. Is she any better now? Maybe start the conversation about how worried you are/were about her and how his support is important to you at such moments but you felt disappointed. He will probably still huff about how staying behind was supportive. How can he ease things over the weekend to give you a break, make time for a soak or walk on your own. Sadly I suspect there will be a next time though even if it blows over for now. Where will you draw that line?

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