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Silly question about being flirted with by a woman (lighthearted!)

(6 Posts)
TooManyTables Thu 07-Jul-16 22:41:41

Have NC for this.

I have been separated from DH for about a year, just to get that out of the way. The thing is, in the past year I made a gay female friend. No big deal, have many gay/bisexual/varied friends, fine. But I suspect this one may be flirting with me? And I feel happy about that, but also I feel like I'm being deranged because I can't be sure. I feel like a childish teenager sometimes. I have had little crushes on women (never had a relationship with one, haven't even kissed one!) but this one is different, it feels like an actual sexual tension and attraction.

Men are very obvious and blatant, are women the same? This one is very funny and kind, and I know she is like that with everyone else, but there have been a few moments where I thought it might be more than 'banter'. I really don't know if she feels like same as me, she has made some comments. For example, the other evening I was going out with a friend and I asked her what I should wear. She said the navy dress. I said I don't know why you like that one, it's awful. She replied with "Quite right grumpy, I'm sure it looks much better off than on ;) " and I was like shockblush I didn't say much back, because I was afraid to (I wanted to, though). Do you think that's a flirty comment or am I reading too much into it? I never encourage these comments by the way, I'm very reserved on text and messenger and things like that, so I don't think I have courted it.

She is younger than me (her 31, me 40) and so I can't fathom why she would want to flirt with me. So I suppose the ridiculous question is how do I know? I've never been in this situation, I don't know whether my hormones are playing tricks on me or whether I'm full on midlife crisis. Any ladies who have flirted with other ladies have any tips? What should I look for? Am I mental? hmm in person she is very reserved, more so in person than via text, maybe a confidence thing I'm not sure. Help!

chipmonkey Fri 08-Jul-16 00:24:22

The dress comment sounds very flirty to me and I tend to be oblivious to flirting as a general rule.
Not sure why the age gap would make a difference. You're not that much older than her and if you're hot, you're hot!

tigermoll Fri 08-Jul-16 09:31:45

You say that you feel happy at the thought of her flirting with you, but is that because you enjoy the attention and it's fun to flirt, or because you are genuinely attracted to this woman and would maybe like a date with her?

I think it's the latter, so why not just (gasp) ask her out? Say something like 'I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me?' or something equally unambiguous, that can't be misconstrued as just friends. I know it seems bold, but hell, you're a grown up. If she says no, I'm sure you will survive smile

AutumnRose1988 Fri 08-Jul-16 19:39:51

Her: Quite right grumpy I'm sure it will look better off than on.
You: Are you flirting with me?

It was such an obvious come on that she will have been cursing you for not taking the bait!

FolderReformedScruncher Fri 08-Jul-16 19:46:46

Did she call you grumpy or is that your usual user name?
Your OP doesn't say whether you actually fancy her or not but either way, I would say you are being flirted with, yes.

Offred Fri 08-Jul-16 19:51:35

I don't understand this wanting to work out if anyone of any gender is flirting or not TBH.

What you need to work out is your feelings about her. Do you want to pursue a romantic/sexual relationship with this person or not?

If you don't then behave accordingly. If you do then behave accordingly and see what happens.

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