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Narc Mil and Fil

(8 Posts)
Smilecherishdream2016 Wed 06-Jul-16 21:43:09

Hi, need all your help and advice here with latest stunt from Pil.

Firstly there's a lot of back story with Pil. It's been a month since I've last spoken to them . I'm guessing I done something but no idea what . These past few weeks have been bliss I must say and I couldn't of cared less what I have supposedly done to them . Dh is in contact but Pil haven't seen kids either in this time.
Right so here's where I need help . Last weekend dh was out with dd.
Dd came home and told me she met Pil and they said to her " oh you must come out on Thursday night and stay with us " she said yes but didn't feel confortable saying no ...
Baring in mind dd has never stayed with them and I know for definite she wouldn't like to .
I've been mulling over this all week basically waiting for dh to tell me this part where they "told her she must stay " ( no choice given to dd ) . So this evening I get a text out of the blue from mil telling me she will call in some time tomorrow .
My anxiety is back and I can feel my heart pounding thinking what am I going to do ?
I can already see her parading in the door greeting me with a big smile across her face and in delight telling me "oh dd said she wants to stay with us " .
The twist in the truth ( really they told her she must but that part will be left out ) . She just loves the competition with me ever since dd was born it's been a big game to her .
She has still failed to notice I don't do competitiveness I loathe it . But of course she sees dd as an object, a prize trophy .

How will I handle this ?

WiMoChi Wed 06-Jul-16 21:53:36

You need to Mum up and say no.

Stop this monster right in its tracks.
So yes, one of you will be pissed and tantrummy. You or her. Stop making it you and let it be her. Stick up for your daughter and show her how to stand up and show strength to boundary stomping lunatics like your mother in law.

sglodion Wed 06-Jul-16 21:55:09

Does she want to go? If not just tell them that she doesn't want to.

WiMoChi Wed 06-Jul-16 21:55:50

And go out tomorrow. All day. Go do something fun and don't be there when MIL turns up.

She complains to your DH? (She will) then ask where you agreed to having her pop over.

Crazycatladyloz82 Wed 06-Jul-16 21:55:54

Don't engage with her and if she plays games stand up for yourself. My in laws are a nightmare but I take no shit off of them anymore. Since I stopped not saying anything and seething and panicking in silence they don't screw with me anymore.

Walkacrossthesand Wed 06-Jul-16 21:57:18

Check that DH hasn't been making arrangements you don't know about, then text back 'BTW, DD mentioned that you'd invited her to sleep over tomorrow night but that's not going to be happening so if that's the reason for your visit you might like to reconsider'.

Smilecherishdream2016 Wed 06-Jul-16 22:15:40

The thing with dh is that he hasn't told me about this conversation. I've been waiting all week for him to bring it up but no . He did briefly mention yesterday about her visiting but I shot that down quick . So I'm guessing he's under pressure to have dd out to visit . He's deep in fog with them . He won't even have a moan about them. Deep loyalty and fear of what would happen I'm presuming . I've pointed out before to him how she will bad mouth all siblings to each of them , they are all played off each other . None of them are close . From what I can see they can't even have a conversation . She's the control centre .

happypoobum Wed 06-Jul-16 22:29:33

Agree with PP - don't mention to DH at this stage but go out all day.

Then when this has blown over, you have to talk to DH about backing you up because you can't really go on like this can you?

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