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Turned in to an old man

(6 Posts)
sophree Wed 06-Jul-16 17:44:05

Did anyone else get with their partner reasonably young.
And they went from a fun loving care free man to a boring old grump who only seems to speak to the DCs when they have done something wrong ?

He can still be really great company and he works really long hours and shift patterns are all over the place. I ask nothing of him and if I do really need help with something it's always huffing and puffing and can't be bothered....

How to get his thirst for life back ?

mummy2zni Wed 06-Jul-16 17:59:17

Oh I hear you sophree! I used to think "Grumpy Old Men" the TV show was funny - not anymore!

Thankfully, mine is actually really good with the kids but when they've been on and on about something (singing, play fighting, real fighting) he doesn't cope well.

He's very much the introvert - we haven't had people over for years. And has 'hang ups' about the wierdest things - the mild OCD doesn't help!

I'll admit I have taken to rolling my eyes out sight just to keep calm sometimes...

SandyY2K Wed 06-Jul-16 18:11:06

Part of that is laziness.

IreallyKNOWiamright Thu 07-Jul-16 21:10:20

Yes can sympathise . It makes things really hard as I feel more out going then when we met and some days it's like housemates other days it's like it used to be. Do you have any of your own interests to do. Since I went back to education and stated working ive noticed it has helped alot.

HeddaGarbled Thu 07-Jul-16 22:34:43

It's not your responsibility to get his thirst for life back.

I empathise with this a lot as I too have a grumpy old man for an H, though to be fair, he was a pretty grumpy young man. He has definitely got grumpier with age.

I have colleagues and friends and family who provide fun and laughs and positivity. Our children challenge him and make fun of him and can guilt or jolly him out of bad moods though there have been bad patches particularly through their teenage years.

He's not relentlessly grumpy. We still have a laugh. In the past, he tried being rude and unpleasant to me personally but I pulled him up on that sharply and he won't do it now.

I'm concerned by your statement that you ask nothing of him. That probably needs to change.

You can't change his personality and outlook but you can decide what is acceptable in terms of how he treats you and make that very clear. And surround yourself with people who give you what he doesn't.

And if he is really is too tiresome, draining and unpleasant to live with, well, you know you have a choice there as well.

HeddaGarbled Thu 07-Jul-16 22:45:27

Also, if he is working long hours with fluctuating shift patterns, and you have young children, he may just be exhausted and feeling the pressure of providing for the family financially, so you might need to cut him a little slack during this phase in your lives. He might get his thirst for life back, when the children are older or he gets a more regular and less stressful job.

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