Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

People hate it when you treat them as they treat you. Funny how you end up as the bad guy then.

(6 Posts)
Kitonian Wed 06-Jul-16 15:49:11

I introduced two friends to one another, I'll call them A and B for the purposes of this thread. A and B have children at the same school that I have children at.

After a few times of meeting as a group of three and a couple of nights out, A and B started being very cold with me and not replying to my texts, avoiding me at the school if they possibly could, and being very friendly with each other. After a couple of months of this they each then started talking to me individually again but not if they were together (they would often start laughing or pretend not to see me). It was all very up and down and unpredictable, and school girlish. There were also a lot of Facebook statuses that I felt were aimed at me, and lots of writing on each others' walls to make arrangements to see each other.

I got quite upset about it all as I'd been friends with each of them respectively for quite a few years, and felt like I was back at school again. I also felt like they weren't being nice about me behind my back for whatever reason. So in the end I deleted both from Facebook and seeing as they regularly ignored me, I just started ignoring the pair of them whether I saw them individually, or together.

Now both are bad mouthing me to others about how awful I've been to them, how I've deleted them from Facebook and how I ignore them, and are basically making themselves out to be victims when it all happened this way because of their initial behaviour! Mutual friends/acquaintances keep telling me about how upset they both are. Clearly not upset enough to contact me or to try to make amends with me though!

It just got me thinking, why when you just do the same to someone that they've done to you, do they get so upset about it? Is it because a certain type treats people badly and they're so in love with themselves they can't face the thought that someone won't go along with everything they do?

I find the more I stop people pleasing and stand up for myself, the smaller my social world gets, suits me just fine😊

milkbottle Wed 06-Jul-16 15:52:57

That sounds like the sort of thing I got involved with at school! You should be glad to have them out of your life, very childish!

Arfarfanarf Wed 06-Jul-16 15:56:16

They aren't upset. They don't care that you've deleted them off facebook or don't speak to them. They just have a great opportunity to whine and play the victim. They must be loving it.

Next time someone says something just say don't be silly, they can't possibly be upset considering they are the ones who froze me out and stopped speaking to me, I just chose to not indulge such childish behaviour.

BastardGoDarkly Wed 06-Jul-16 15:59:14

Yep, I agree, they're not upset, they're revelling in the attention and gossip this has afforded them.

Total twats, you're well rid, bet you any money they're not talking by the start of the new term wink

takingfootoutmouth Wed 06-Jul-16 16:07:51

As Arfarf just said they are loving playing the victim. Couldn't possibly have been something they did, you know cause they are perfect... hmm. Use this as a good excuse to make some nice new friends. (have just ben through similar. A friend somebody I used to know is doing the pot calling black thing.) Nobody who matters will believe the 'friends'.
They'll find someone else to moan about next week. flowers

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now