Oral and condoms

[HundredYearsInTime]

Hi

I have had only three sexual partners, all for long relationships and the last was my ex H.
My first boyfriend laughed at me when I mentioned we should use condoms on oral (right in the beginning of our relationship). He said: Who likes to suck on plastic?

I am now single again and will have my first date and really wonder how people do it when it comes to casual sex. Do you use condoms on oral? Or don't do oral at all? Is it weird to ask to use it? I know my date from before but not so well to be sure I am safe without protection.
Thanks.

[RestlessTraveller]

Yes I do oral. Nope I've never used a condom, but probably should have. 😳

[loveyoutothemoon]

Doing without is very risky when dating someone new. Why would you put yourself through that risk?

If he's not happy then tough, he can go without.

[RestlessTraveller]

Do you also ask partners to wear a dental
dam if they're performing oral on you?

[HundredYearsInTime]

I did not even know dental dam existed

[RedMapleLeaf]

I haven't done oral in casual sex.

[EssentialHummus]

Just out of personal preference I wouldn't do oral in a casual relationship / ONS. I find it much more intimate than sex, iyswim. But the risk would also weigh heavily.

[MyKingdomForBrie]

The risk of oral doesn't reduce with how well you know your partner, a large percentage of the population carry hpv and it is not tested for in an std test.

The risk increases with the number of partners - I would avoid oral with anyone casual on that basis if you're worried about the risk.

[Flacidunicorn]

I wouldnt ever do oral with a casual. As gross as it sounds there is no way to know theu havent had sex an hour before meeting you. Kinda gross thought I know.

Also, if you decide you will only do oral whilst he wears a condom, thats your choice, if he doesnt like it, tough titty.

[RestlessTraveller]

Please don't be embarrassed OP, lots of people don't know about them.

This may help

www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/safer-sex/dental-dams-4562.html

[HundredYearsInTime]

Thanks everyone. It is not that casual I would say... We are friends for a million years and have been in close contact now for quite a long time. But of course, I cannot know if he has anything. He mentioned once that he hates condoms so I guess he is not protecting himself often.
I really like him and feel like doing oral, but I see it is smart to go for the condom.

[HundredYearsInTime]

Thanks for the link, nice to know about it. But that was the weirdest thing ever. I see times coming when we will have to use dental dams while kissing as well.

[RestlessTraveller]

I think if you are going to ask that he wears a condom you have to show that you are protecting himself too. Or you both get tested before you do anything.

[RestlessTraveller]

Sorry crap use of the English language. 'Protecting HIM too'

[HundredYearsInTime]

Agree... Easier to just drop it I guess...

[HundredYearsInTime]

I am tested and know he is safe. But I wouldn't just believe anyone saying that anyway...

[RestlessTraveller]

Make him show you the results. Most clinics text STI test results.

[TheDropBear]

I've given and recieved oral without protection during casual sex. The risk is small enough that I personally feel comfortable doing it but obviously everyone has different thresholds.
I think the biggest risks are hpv (which I can't catch) and herpes. Don't do it if you have any open wounds/ulcers in my mouth and obviously if the guy has anything herpes/wart looking down there don't go near

Perfectly fine to ask him to wear a condom as long as you're prepared to use a dental dam. He may prefer to just not have oral though. Apparently a condom takes a lot of sensation away with oral.

[offside]

Nope, wouldn't do oral during in casual sex, but then I'm not one for casual sex and never have been so maybe that's why.

[HundredYearsInTime]

Me neither offside... Never done... Old lady and have been with 3 guys... That's why I wonder.

[RestlessTraveller]

What do you class as an old lady?

[BabooshkaKate]

I do not do oral in casual hook ups but I have given a blow job with a condom. It was OK, a bit dry after a while and the flavoured lube brought out an allergic reaction in me

[BlackVelvet1]

Why would they do flavoured condoms if it wasn't for oral sex? HIV might be transmissible through oral sex, so would def use one if needed. Plus there is another advantage with condoms when it comes to the end.

[HundredYearsInTime]

I am soon 40.
I mean old... Not a teen anymore.

[HundredYearsInTime]

Thanks everyone. I was not even considering using condoms in oral as I though I could be laughed at again.
Now I know I will not be doing that without protection.