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Oral and condoms

(25 Posts)
HundredYearsInTime Wed 06-Jul-16 10:59:16

Hi

I have had only three sexual partners, all for long relationships and the last was my ex H.
My first boyfriend laughed at me when I mentioned we should use condoms on oral (right in the beginning of our relationship). He said: Who likes to suck on plastic? confused

I am now single again and will have my first date and really wonder how people do it when it comes to casual sex. Do you use condoms on oral? Or don't do oral at all? Is it weird to ask to use it? I know my date from before but not so well to be sure I am safe without protection.
Thanks.

RestlessTraveller Wed 06-Jul-16 11:17:33

Yes I do oral. Nope I've never used a condom, but probably should have. 😳

loveyoutothemoon Wed 06-Jul-16 11:18:03

Doing without is very risky when dating someone new. Why would you put yourself through that risk?

If he's not happy then tough, he can go without.

RestlessTraveller Wed 06-Jul-16 11:18:21

Do you also ask partners to wear a dental
dam if they're performing oral on you?

HundredYearsInTime Wed 06-Jul-16 11:19:54

I did not even know dental dam existed blush

RedMapleLeaf Wed 06-Jul-16 11:21:08

I haven't done oral in casual sex.

EssentialHummus Wed 06-Jul-16 11:22:52

Just out of personal preference I wouldn't do oral in a casual relationship / ONS. I find it much more intimate than sex, iyswim. But the risk would also weigh heavily.

MyKingdomForBrie Wed 06-Jul-16 11:25:14

The risk of oral doesn't reduce with how well you know your partner, a large percentage of the population carry hpv and it is not tested for in an std test.

The risk increases with the number of partners - I would avoid oral with anyone casual on that basis if you're worried about the risk.

Flacidunicorn Wed 06-Jul-16 11:26:00

I wouldnt ever do oral with a casual. As gross as it sounds there is no way to know theu havent had sex an hour before meeting you. Kinda gross thought I know.

Also, if you decide you will only do oral whilst he wears a condom, thats your choice, if he doesnt like it, tough titty.

RestlessTraveller Wed 06-Jul-16 11:27:21

Please don't be embarrassed OP, lots of people don't know about them.

This may help

www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/safer-sex/dental-dams-4562.html

HundredYearsInTime Wed 06-Jul-16 11:32:01

Thanks everyone. It is not that casual I would say... We are friends for a million years and have been in close contact now for quite a long time. But of course, I cannot know if he has anything. He mentioned once that he hates condoms so I guess he is not protecting himself often. hmm
I really like him and feel like doing oral, but I see it is smart to go for the condom.

HundredYearsInTime Wed 06-Jul-16 11:42:42

Thanks for the link, nice to know about it. But that was the weirdest thing ever. grin I see times coming when we will have to use dental dams while kissing as well. confused

RestlessTraveller Wed 06-Jul-16 11:46:47

I think if you are going to ask that he wears a condom you have to show that you are protecting himself too. Or you both get tested before you do anything.

RestlessTraveller Wed 06-Jul-16 11:47:30

Sorry crap use of the English language. 'Protecting HIM too'

HundredYearsInTime Wed 06-Jul-16 11:51:53

Agree... Easier to just drop it I guess...

HundredYearsInTime Wed 06-Jul-16 11:56:04

I am tested and know he is safe. But I wouldn't just believe anyone saying that anyway...

RestlessTraveller Wed 06-Jul-16 12:01:55

Make him show you the results. Most clinics text STI test results.

TheDropBear Wed 06-Jul-16 12:04:57

I've given and recieved oral without protection during casual sex. The risk is small enough that I personally feel comfortable doing it but obviously everyone has different thresholds.
I think the biggest risks are hpv (which I can't catch) and herpes. Don't do it if you have any open wounds/ulcers in my mouth and obviously if the guy has anything herpes/wart looking down there don't go near

Perfectly fine to ask him to wear a condom as long as you're prepared to use a dental dam. He may prefer to just not have oral though. Apparently a condom takes a lot of sensation away with oral.

offside Wed 06-Jul-16 14:19:08

Nope, wouldn't do oral during in casual sex, but then I'm not one for casual sex and never have been so maybe that's why.

HundredYearsInTime Wed 06-Jul-16 15:14:44

Me neither offside... Never done... Old lady and have been with 3 guys... That's why I wonder.

RestlessTraveller Wed 06-Jul-16 15:16:28

What do you class as an old lady?

BabooshkaKate Wed 06-Jul-16 15:30:37

I do not do oral in casual hook ups but I have given a blow job with a condom. It was OK, a bit dry after a while and the flavoured lube brought out an allergic reaction in me blush

BlackVelvet1 Wed 06-Jul-16 15:46:08

Why would they do flavoured condoms if it wasn't for oral sex? HIV might be transmissible through oral sex, so would def use one if needed. Plus there is another advantage with condoms when it comes to the end.

HundredYearsInTime Wed 06-Jul-16 15:46:30

I am soon 40.
I mean old... Not a teen anymore. grin

HundredYearsInTime Wed 06-Jul-16 15:52:33

Thanks everyone. I was not even considering using condoms in oral as I though I could be laughed at again. hmm
Now I know I will not be doing that without protection.

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