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Friendships and accepting/handling the differences between people **not EU related**

(6 Posts)
bibbitybobbityyhat Tue 05-Jul-16 12:21:24

I just wondered how people cope with quite big differences in personality type with their friends? I have a situation where it's not quite as simple as avoiding certain subjects, because my friend and I are just very different people (although we have much in common) and I realise I come away from spending time with her feeling a bit rubbish about everything.

She is an energetic perfectionist and I am not, I am very relaxed about almost everything (not proud of this, btw) because I don't find it rewarding to have an immaculate house or children who achieve at the highest level in sport or go to highly selective schools or any of that. Those things don't give me pleasure in life so I don't see the attraction in trying to achieve them.

However, somehow somehow, I feel very judged after spending time with this friend. If she invites me round for a cup of tea she always makes a home made cake to go with it. If I invite her round for a cup of tea, I don't make a cake (I don't like cake really) and she might well be sitting in a fairly cluttered kitchen that has quite a lot of items out of place.

This is a tiny example, I'm finding it hard to get across. When I've spent time with her I don't feel all that good about myself. Not a good sign?

How do you get along with friends/family who have a different approach to life to you?

mumcantmakeadecision Tue 05-Jul-16 12:30:04

does she make you feel like this in her action or way she speak to you or is it how you feel?

bibbitybobbityyhat Tue 05-Jul-16 12:37:44

I feel I don't measure up to her very high standards. She can be quite critical of other people too, which I don't like listening to. However (to my face) she is lovely and we have a laugh and I find her quite interesting.

bibbitybobbityyhat Tue 05-Jul-16 12:38:18

Sorry my op is so long btw, I should have previewed it!

NowWhat1983 Tue 05-Jul-16 12:59:41

If there are such massive personality differences I have to say we'd unlikely to be friends in the first place in that case.

SeaEagleFeather Tue 05-Jul-16 19:33:21

I thin maybe try and work out if this is you feeling judged but it's - your - self confidence rather than her, or if you have some solid indicators that she is kind of quietly making you feel uncomfortable. Bitchy comments about other people certainly doesn't sound very good. If on the other hand it's your self confidence, then it's less about her and more about you ... which can make it easier to deal with. gl!

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