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How do you show/tell your partner what you think of them?

(12 Posts)
thumbinapie Mon 04-Jul-16 14:57:17

So I've started seeing a guy that I really like. We're complete opposites personality-wise but have great chemistry and a lot of fun together.

A few nights ago, he asked me if I found him physically attractive, or if I just liked him for his personality. I reassured him that of course I do find him attractive (which is true) - he seemed fine with this but just remarked that I'd never said that I did.

I now feel terrible - he's always telling me how much he fancies me, that I look great, that something I'm good at makes him want me even more etc. Whereas, I'm much more reserved and up til now thought that the fact that we're now together was enough for him to know that I really fancy him.

Anyway- I'm now trying to think of little ways to tell him or show him how fab I think he is but I'm finding it hard to think of the words. I want him to feel the way he makes me feel. Any tips much appreciated!

user1467491951 Mon 04-Jul-16 15:02:48

Bloke here.

Mention a particular item of clothing you like, whether he's wearing it or not. Don't have to be descriptive but it'll make a difference. (Also make sure you notice the next time he wears it!!!)

A hand laid on me, even very lightly in passing, on the arm, back or chest can make me feel very desirable when teamed with a sigh.

Then again, I'm not your average chap.

user1467491951 Mon 04-Jul-16 15:07:25

A sigh of longing that is! Not one of annoyance and exasperation!

Laus13 Mon 04-Jul-16 15:24:45

My husband rarely says how awesome I look but it's not something I tend to miss either. I ask if I look alright knowing I'll get an honest answer & every now and the when I do get a compliment it really means a lot.
I tell him a lot that a particular top suits him or that he looks handsome today. Nothing sounding quite that naff though! As the PP said, I often just touch him as I walk past, squeeze his bum and these are reciprocated meaning I feel appreciated and attractive & he does too.

thumbinapie Mon 04-Jul-16 15:34:57

Thank you both! I think I'm quite good at being physically affectionate, but need to work on the verbal part. Picking out an outfit and telling him he looks good in it is a great idea.

He's one of those people who just says everything that's in his head, whereas I'm much more of an introvert - and especially shy away from anything that makes me vulnerable. Working on it though!

JellyBean31 Mon 04-Jul-16 15:44:54

I'm in a pretty similar situation OP. I am not a fan of receiving compliments which means I don't often give them as a matter of course. If something someone is wearing really suits them or I see a photograph that's nice I will always say so, but day to day I don't really.

I've met someone new and he is very complimentary, he knows I'm not a fan but he says he wants to say these things to me and he's being nice so why shouldn't he? I guess he has a point, but I kind of feel I should respond in kind and it's just not in me. He knows I enjoy his company and he knows I am physically attracted to him and like you I expect that to be enough for now (we are very early days only about a month in) and to be fair he hasn't asked me to comment on anything specifically. Although he has a couple of times said "I don't know what you see in me", as he knows I was in an EA relationship I've replied "you make me laugh, I feel I can relax with you and be myself and you're nice to me" - but I've never come up with specifics about him - maybe I need to cos I do like him!

thumbinapie Mon 04-Jul-16 15:51:02

Phew jellybean - I'm glad I'm not the only one.

I think he knows that I like him but he needs me to be more specific. He's very funny and I think in the past he's had attention because of that rather than the fact that people think he's hot stuff grin ! I fancy him as a package - what he looks like, the way he makes me feel, the way he makes me laugh, how caring he is etc but I can't seem to get that across to him.

user1467491951 Mon 04-Jul-16 15:54:54

Just for the record, "Wheres that blue shirt? It really suits you." Is better than "You absolutely must wear that shirt with trousers, but only if you don't wear those dark grey socks!" grin

user1467491951 Mon 04-Jul-16 17:11:38

Also, if you a nickname for your partner (dunno why but I know very few couples who use each others actual names) then try swapping it for something a little more suggestive every once in a while and gauge his reaction. Considering you're struggling with finding the words, this tiny change could help you with vocalising as much as him wanting to feel desired.

thumbinapie Tue 05-Jul-16 11:46:53

We don't have nicknames - I just call him by his name! Maybe I'm more awful at being verbally affectionate than I thought!

pocketsaviour Tue 05-Jul-16 14:56:27

I am quite a visual person so I think this comes quite naturally to me.

I tend to start morning conversations, texts etc with "Morning gorgeous" or "Hello sexy beast" grin

When I see someone, I'll say "You look great" or "You're a sight for sore eyes".

"That shirt looks great on you. You look good enough to eat"

"Mmm, you smell amazing"

I also made a bloke BLUSH last week when he said something about his personalised number plate, and I said "Like I'm going to pay any attention to your number plate when I've got you to look at" grin grin grin

Redisthenewblack Tue 05-Jul-16 15:49:03

I'm also on board with the 'morning sexy' texts. Or a 'you've got my a heart racing thinking about you in that black shirt you wore on Tuesday!' text in the middle of the day. Catch him off guard.

A text will be a nice surprise whenever he sees it. And it's easier to do than say it face to face if you're not usually like that.

I also find that if we're passing in hall/kitchen I'll deliberately stand too close so I have to put my hands on his hips/back/bum to 'move' him out of the way. Or if we're sat eating dinner I'll get up from the table to go and get something from the kitchen and deliberately brush my hand along his shoulder as I go, then tell him as I'm leaving the room 'your shoulders are gorgeous'.

But I'm a ridiculous flirt. grin

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