Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

He's lied!

(87 Posts)
tootiredforthissh1t Sat 02-Jul-16 21:44:25

DH has gone out drinking today with friends from work. They're mostly female. I dropped him off at the station for his 11.15am (rural service) train to the city for an early drinking session before taking DS to his swimming lesson. He said he'd be back on the last train at 9pm if not before. I got a text from him at 5 saying he wouldn't be home before 10.

I text him at 9.15 to ask if he's on the train-no reply, suspicions raised. I checked the train times and the last train back left at 18.30. I tried ringing and his phone went straight to voicemail. He's lied to me! I'm shaking and trying to act normal whilst snuggled up watching a film with DD. I'm not stupid and he's fucking cheating on me isn't he?

fastdaytears Sat 02-Jul-16 21:45:34

Is there a train at that time on weekdays and he's confused? Has he done anything else to make you suspicious?

GrimmauldPlace Sat 02-Jul-16 21:48:51

I agree, maybe he's not realised that the train times are different on the weekend. How will he get home now?

Gardenbirds123 Sat 02-Jul-16 21:49:10

Seems a bit odd he'd use a female heavy all day drinking session as a cover story

Perhaps he's confused re times and now drunk and stuck and doesn't want to be told off so ignored call / text?

Maybe message him eg ops looks like you missed last train! I can organise a cab, where shall I arrange pick up? You're paying though and you owe me a date night to make up ;-)

SenoritaViva Sat 02-Jul-16 21:49:49

He might not be cheating, he might have just messed up train times.

tootiredforthissh1t Sat 02-Jul-16 21:50:52

Yes there are later trains during the week. He hasn't done anything else to make me suspicious. We haven't been intimate for a while-both work full time, 2 DCs and generally exhausted. We have had a 'rough patch' in the past where I inadvertently found pics bikini pics of a 'friend' of his on his phone whilst showing DM photos of DD.

AnyFucker Sat 02-Jul-16 21:51:22

I wouldn't jump straight to cheating but he is certainly taking the piss.

He had no intention of coming home when he said he would.

tootiredforthissh1t Sat 02-Jul-16 21:52:17

Exactly Anyfucker

AnyFucker Sat 02-Jul-16 21:54:38

Has he form for this ?

tootiredforthissh1t Sat 02-Jul-16 21:57:00

He went out with the same group a month ago and stayed over in a hotel. Only form I know of is in the post above

GrimmauldPlace Sat 02-Jul-16 21:57:30

You found bikini pics? What was his excuse for that? As AF said, either way he's not going to be back for when he said he was. If he genuinely messed up the train times he would have realised by 9.15 when you contacted him. Is his phone off, do you know? Just thinking maybe it is out of charge.

tootiredforthissh1t Sat 02-Jul-16 21:59:20

He wouldn't normally run out of phone battery. I think he's switched it off. FFS my head is all over the place.

tootiredforthissh1t Sat 02-Jul-16 22:00:19

His excuse for the bikini pics was that his friend sent them to him accidentally. She is no longer his friend!

AnyFucker Sat 02-Jul-16 22:00:49

He has form then.

That sounds more dodgy.

AnyFucker Sat 02-Jul-16 22:03:29

My husband (to be, at the time) did this once early in our relationship. Fucked off, sacked our arrangements and expected me to suck it up.

No. Not gonna happen.

So...where do you stand in this ? Is this how you want to live your life ?

WellErrr Sat 02-Jul-16 22:03:32

Sent them accidentally?? And he then accidentally saved them on his camera roll?

Hmm. Could be all coincidence but I'd be worried too.

tootiredforthissh1t Sat 02-Jul-16 22:05:11

I don't stand for this shit

tootiredforthissh1t Sat 02-Jul-16 22:07:13

Please someone tell me there might be an innocent explanation

AnyFucker Sat 02-Jul-16 22:07:43

I don't blame you

letsstaytogether Sat 02-Jul-16 22:09:26

Sorry you're going through this OP. It's such a horrible feeling.
Has he been out drinking since 12ish then? He's probably shit-faced. He could be somewhere without a signal. He could be trying to get home (somehow)
Hang on in there...
Anything else making you think he's cheating?

GrimmauldPlace Sat 02-Jul-16 22:09:44

Of course there might be an innocent explanation if you mean hes not cheating on you. I would expect a really good reason why he's not home when he said he would be though and why his phone is off.

AnyFucker Sat 02-Jul-16 22:09:44

Actually, your last two posts are a complete contradiction

Begging for any explanation, however far fetched, is "standing for this shit" tbh

His behaviour is either all right with you or it isn't

Lying should be a dealbreaker. If it isn't...then expect more lies.

Lookatyourwatchnow Sat 02-Jul-16 22:10:31

Staying out later than originally planned - not a big deal in my opinion. I've done this more times than I can remember.

I can't, however, remember anyone accidentally sending me bikini pictures, or rationalise him lying about getting a train.

Poker face, OP, and see what he says about how he got home before you speak up.

pieceofpurplesky Sat 02-Jul-16 22:10:49

Innocent explanation? He is not really out drinking with a group of female friends and is with bikini woman or is bladdered, phone ran out and he will crash somewhere ???
However bikini pics and nights in hotels would make me suspicious

letsstaytogether Sat 02-Jul-16 22:11:02

Phone could have died... Can you contact one of his colleagues & ask if they know where he's at?
Pretty reasonable I'd say-you're just worried about your man!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now