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Being single - it's really okay

(21 Posts)
Kittencatkins123 Thu 30-Jun-16 23:19:49

And a lot better than being with some creepy asshole you've just met.

Just thought would raise in case you thought the opposite.

sad(((((

Depressed

Destinysdaughter Thu 30-Jun-16 23:21:18

A cat helps!

Why are you depressed?

Kittencatkins123 Thu 30-Jun-16 23:28:11

Oh no
Sorry!

I am depressed but only because it sometimes feels like women are putting up with/minimising horrible treatment they shouldn't/don't have to and very early on in relationships

I'm not blaming anyone (and know it can be a horrible path that leads to that) but it depresses the hell out of me.

Just wanted to flag that being single isn't bad.

I might not be phrasing this very well wine

Sorry and thanks!
(I have a lovely cat smile)

TheNaze73 Fri 01-Jul-16 10:43:29

Well said OP. I'd rather be single than to accept anything other than exceptional

ForestFruits12 Fri 01-Jul-16 12:19:01

Took me a while to realise this, and I'm still getting to grips with the idea. Always been in relationships until my last one turned ugly. I was guilty of minimising and putting up with all sorts.

at 32, I am single for the first time, and I can see this being the start of me finding out who I really am, and putting myself first.

sorry - - - me me me me!

housewifedesperate Fri 01-Jul-16 12:26:12

Completely agree, first time I've been single as an adult and it's a voyage of discovery (such a cliche but true)
I'm finding that I actually like myself and really liking me. I'm growing into a strong, independent woman which is the example I want to set my daughters (only took me 40 years!)
Definitely better being single than with a dick who doesn't deserve you and yes, there's always cats (1 cat and counting)

TiggyOBE Fri 01-Jul-16 12:44:28

By law it's one cat for every 3 years your're single.

Being with a botty-hole is worse than being single. I think. But as I'm fundimentally unloveable I've never been half a couple good or otterwise.

KyleM Fri 01-Jul-16 12:47:18

Bit of Male perspective.

I'm newly single (10 weeks) and I hate every minute of it! I was definitely a second class citizen in my marriage but I would go back in a heart beat.

Sad but true.

ThePigeon314 Fri 01-Jul-16 12:48:53

10 weeks is nothing though.

Being single was ok for me for a long time but I've grown so tired of it now.

stealtheatingtunnocks Fri 01-Jul-16 12:49:19

Thank you. It's done me good to read your post today.

Kyle, I'm sorry you feel like that. You do not deserve to be a second class citizen.

TheNaze73 Fri 01-Jul-16 12:50:30

Why Kyle?

Not being harsh but, do you think that being dependent on someone else for your own happiness caused the problems in your last relationship?

Meaning that totally objectively

KyleM Fri 01-Jul-16 12:57:27

TheNaze73 - It probably did, I grew apart from the majority of my friends because all I needed was my wife and children to be happy.

ThePigeon314 Fri 01-Jul-16 13:10:17

That could feel a little overwhelming.

Fontella Fri 01-Jul-16 14:05:13

Also ... to everyone here, being single today doesn't mean being single forever, as I have recently discovered.

smile

I have been single for almost a decade and was ok with it. I didn't do online dating, I didn't go 'looking' and in fact, I wasn't really interested. I had resigned myself to being single for the rest of my life.

So no-one is more surprised than me that I am currently dating a lovely man and having the time of my life, after many years of mostly happy singledom.

virgospirit Fri 01-Jul-16 14:26:48

I've been single since 2004 and except for just a couple of flings in that time, I haven't had what I'd call a long term relationship for twelve years. It's given me the time to do what I want when I want, I love my time on my own, have traveled a fair amount and have genuinely been on path of discovery for the last eight or nine years. I do like being single for the endless opportunities to do things but it'd also be nice to meet someone to share things with.

gemsangels123 Fri 01-Jul-16 14:48:10

Definitely agree with better to be single than be with someone that's treats you poorly!
It's true, find yourself and be happy with you. I have found me and kind of happy with me. A bit of company would be nice now after 6 years....

Kittencatkins123 Fri 01-Jul-16 17:49:25

YAY GUYS!

I wrote this last night after a couple of drinks three (--excitingly self poured) pints and half a bottle of wine-- and thought I had made absolutely no sense!

Here's to being happily (or even slightly unhappily but at least not putting up with crappy behaviour from a dick) single! wine

Kyle - here are some cakewineflowerschocolate

You're just at the crappy beginning bit but it really gets better.

amsingleagain Fri 01-Jul-16 18:15:52

I really love being single for all the obvious reasons

Things that I don't like:

Cooking lovely adventurous food that isn't appreciated by the kids, not because they are ungrateful, but because they have immature palates. They finish their meal, put their plates in the dishwasher and disappear.

Not being invited out with 'the girls' on account of the fact that "we didn't think you'd want to come cos its a couples night'

Not having someone there to take the reins when I'm not there. Just had to cancel an operation and go back on the waiting list cos it is DD15 careers evening, DS11 school play and DS10 needs looking after, and I need picking up from hospital after a general!!

Many positives. Many negatives. But better to be happy , busy and single rather than lonely in a relationship x

ForalltheSaints Fri 01-Jul-16 19:24:53

I was single for about 8 years and there were many upsides to it- certainly better than being in a bad relationship (which thankfully is not me now)

JennyMe Fri 01-Jul-16 19:56:00

Do you think maybe the more happily single you are that if you did meet someone you'd have a better relationship as you'd be happy in yourself anyway?

ThePigeon314 Fri 01-Jul-16 20:19:39

That can be the case but ime, I was getting smug (almost!) about how content and self-sufficient I was on my own. It is interesting how who we're drawn to, and what dynamic feels right/familiar can remain stagnated in the past even though we've become more and more independent and content and better at coping with being alone.

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