MIL arrives tomorrow (from abroad) to stay for 3 weeks.
She's not the easiest person to live with - she's extremely set in her ways and quite passive aggressive. She appears to have forgotten that DH is a grown man and treats him like a ditsy 16 year old. If you ask her what her preference is for something you will invariably get "oh, whatever is easiest", but if you don't choose what she actually wants she will sulk. If she has decided something, then it is nearly impossible to change her mind, even if it means she is putting you out (in case anyone remembers a previous thread, this is the woman who decided that she was going to sleep in our garage, with the cars, washing machine and gardening equipment, because my parents were staying and she wanted to piggyback on a special treat we had organised for my DDad and DD1. It took DH multiple difficult phone calls to convince her this would not be happening).
There are a lot of other little niggly things that, if she is staying a couple of days you can grit your teeth about, but over a longer time begin to really grate.
DH has limited patience with her, and usually finds an excuse to be "busy" in the evenings when she visits, which means I usually get put in the "entertain MIL" role. Again, OK for a night or two, but for 3 weeks...
At the moment my patience is very limited - we've just moved house, I'm trying to get everything sorted out, work is extremely stressful, we've just had a family bereavement that means my Mum who is usually a great support, needs support herself. And now we have MIL. For 3 weeks.
The thing is, irritating as she is, she means well (mostly) and she adores the DC (on her terms). And she's coming from the other side of the world. We're also very conscious (as we were when we lived closer to her and further from my parents) that when someone lives that far away and is getting older, it may be the last time she makes the trip (although she is very healthy and only in her late 60s, recent bereavements have reminded us that it isn't always that simple).
So, I don't want this to turn into an unpleasant trip for her, or us, and I need some ideas on how to cope/keep my patience for the sake of family harmony. I could resort to lots of wine, but I suspect that may not be the cleverest idea....
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Coping strategies?
13 replies
vvviola · 30/06/2016 08:39
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.