I'll explain my whole story -
I met my current partner online on plenty of fish 2 years ago. In the beginning I feel this is where the problems started-
His ex began to message me and began to stop my partner from seeing his little boy unless he split up with me :/ which he did a few times and then he told her that I don't mean anything to him which obviously upset me and made me cross. In the beginning I was really fun loving, bubbley and full of confidence but his ex has always been giving me abuse saying I intimidate her and stuff when I've never ever spoken to her or been around her...I tried to talk to him about how upset I was about the fact he told her I didn't mean anything to him and he said I need to get over it because his son comes first not me so I thought nothing of it but every time we argue now he threatens to leave me, grab a hold of my wrists and sometimes pushes me around and has even bruised me all over my legs and all over my arms.
I thought to myself after all this bad treatment I will check if he is cheating on me so I went through his phone (my bad) and found nothing but then I went into his history and he was searching for brothels :,( I asked him about this and he shouted at me and grabbed hold of me and shook me violently and said that he only searched that so he didn't park in an area where there was one as a truck driver and works away and he's only home 2 nights a week which obviously upset me...
He also also given me as STD/STI which is HPV and I don't know how or why really. He lied to me about how many sexually partners he had because he felt it was non of my business which is fine but it's the actually lying which I don't like.
But also every time I question something he threatens to leave me, threatens to hit me or actually does put his hands on me but I know he's sorry for that but I'm just so confused and don't know where I stand :,( to be honest I feel like a housewife who he comes home to and I do everything for him like a slave and if it's not done properly I get shouted at but I also work part time but he under minds me saying I only work 4 hours a day so I can't be that tired...
Another thing is my dad died last year and it's totally messed my head up and 2months after it happened I was still devasted and I will never get over it but he asked me why I was upset 2months after my dad passed and I told him why and he said 'you need to get over it' in a nasty way and went on to say that he was over his grandma and grandad dying the same week my dad did....
Now I'm at a loss and feel very confused he's ending the relationship with me on a daily basis and listen to this after a few hours of a few days with no contact he will ring me like nothing has happened like 'hey babe u ok' and I'll say something like no you broke up with me and he will say 'well you need to move on from it and stop living in the past' I remember one time when I asked him what he thought of me and he said 'well your not the best really' and I asked him what he meant and he said 'your like a pair of jeans with holes in not the best but you'll do' which broke my heart and I still can't get over it :,( also when we got engaged it wasn't very good and I have to lie when people ask me how he did it... I kept talking about getting married cos I'm an old romantic which he was getting angry about and violent...one day he took me to a jewellery shop to buy a new necklace cos mine broke and I picked a ring instead a cheap one bearing in mind and I didn't really like it but was thinking about and later on we went out which I paid for for a pub meal and I was talking about weddings again as my mum just got married and he got cross in the pub and started raising his voice and it was embarrassing :,( after it went quiet he said pass me the ring so I can look at it and he twiddled with it in his fingers twisting it around and he said 'I don't know if I really want to do this but do u want to get married' no hand on one foot or kneeling down and I felt devastated that he just proposed to me like I was a peice of crap :,( and he's been treating me v
:,( he has made me feel so insecure and depressed that I don't know if he wants to be with me or he is staying just for now. He's breaking up and coming back regular and I'm so scared that I'm going to end up homeless with my daughter :,(
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Really confused...
Beccacats1991 · 29/06/2016 08:48
Your self esteem is on your boots. You need some therapy/counselling to understand why you love some one who treats you like shit.
He is nice to me sometimes but mostly hits me and is verbally abisive is an incredibly sad situation.
No one is being unkind. They are worried that you are living in a vile situation and can't see that the problem lies with him not with you.
I wish you all the best, I don't think you are ready to think about a life without this man.
But please look into some counselling to help you find yourself 
Sorry for the typos 
He won't change you know. He is showing you who he is. Listen and ask yourself if that is what you want your life to be.
Think about your DD in all of this too. She may not be there when he is being abusive but the effects will change you and she will see that.
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