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I should leave him but something is stopping me! help.

(13 Posts)
Courage123 Tue 28-Jun-16 20:55:20

I've been with this man 6 months, all going well up until a few months ago when he started to become controlling, little things kept creeping in like; I'm not allowed to have my hair a certain way and I'm not allowed to dress a certain way and he has tried to change my personality as he thinks I'm too quiet.

He had an argument with one of my friends, it was a conversation that got heated, they both needed to be taken away from each other as it would have turned physical, when we got home I became upset and he told me to snap out of it because there was no reason to cry which upset me more. He said this is the only time I'm ever going to slap you and slapped me round the face to try and snap me out of being upset.

I've got extremely low self confidence and low self esteem from how I've been treated by men in the past. I know it was wrong but I don't feel like I have the courage to leave him, something is screaming for me to stay despite this and I don't know why.

I'm so emotionally drained, I don't want to feel this way anymore but at the same time I really don't want to lose him.

What do I need to do? I'm so drained that I just need someone to tell me what to do as I can't think for myself anymore.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Tue 28-Jun-16 20:56:27

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Dump, block, work on yourself before dating again.

WeekendAway Tue 28-Jun-16 21:01:28

What do I need to do?

I think you know what you need to do. But if you won't do it then we can't help you.

Resilience16 Tue 28-Jun-16 21:02:43

Oh my God Courage,I'm sending a hug for you right now.
This man is abusive. You know that, right. You deserve so much better. If you feel you have low self confidence now, I can guarantee if you stay with someone like this who is controlling and who hits you then your self confidence will get even lower.
Please get out of this relationship. Someone who loves you doesn't try to control you or hit you. Please contact Women's aid and they can give you practical help and support to get away.
You really really do deserve better x

starry0ne Tue 28-Jun-16 21:08:25

Yes you are right you do need to leave...He actually justified hitting you before he did it...Never mind after..

Do you have somewhere to go? Sort this out first..

You have been here before and know it is better without...

You also know it gets harder to leave not easier.

Iflyaway Tue 28-Jun-16 21:17:40

OMG, this man is not only abusive he is downright dangerous.

Please get away from him! Yes, you can do it, in fact once out of it your esteem will go up. And spend a good long while rediscovering who you are and your own strengths.

Can you reach out to those friends who can see him for who he is. ?Starting fights with them?! WTF! You know this is the ultimate control tactic to isolate you even further, don't you?

Please, love your life and get out. And don't be afraid to involve the police re. restraining order or whatever it takes.

All the best. If I did it, so can you! (hugs)

And I guarantee, life is great without a controlling abusive creep in it.

Shizzlestix Tue 28-Jun-16 23:21:41

Omg, leave the wanker right now! Why one rth re you still with him? Classic signs of DV, telling you he'll never hit you again, utter bollocks. If you don't want to be in a violent relationship, get out now. {{hugs}}

pumpkin93 Tue 28-Jun-16 23:34:15

You've noticed the signs. Get out while you can. No decent man will slap you . You deserve a lot better than this. Your friend will help. She has noticed what's creep he is.

hotdiggedy Tue 28-Jun-16 23:36:34

Yes, get away right now before you waste too much of your life on him. What was the argument about that it almost became physical? That really isnt normal at all!

BlueKarou Tue 28-Jun-16 23:50:21

You know what you need to do. You know it's going to be hard, but it's needed. We are here to listen, no doubt there are people here who can help with the specifics, but you need to be able to put it into action. Get your RL friends on side and get out.

It's ok to be scared, but it's not ok to let that fear rule your life.

CaptainSprinkles Wed 29-Jun-16 00:13:02

Please please please get away from this person right now. Easier said than done, I know, but it will only get worse. flowers

LellyMcKelly Wed 29-Jun-16 03:50:18

You need to get out of there now.

DonnaMurray1 Wed 29-Jun-16 04:52:25

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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