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Just a moan about DH

(3 Posts)
RosieandJim89 Sun 26-Jun-16 10:11:59

Just to say before I start my rant, this is purely because I need to get it off my chest as although I will probably mention it to him, it isn't something worth arguing over.
About 3 1/2 week ago I caught a virus, recovered within 5 days but DH caught it. He took about 2 1/2 weeks to fully recover and actually still has a bit of a cough 3 weeks on.
Whilst he was ill it was like being a single mum to 2 children, (DH and DS).
I did all the cooking- at least 2 different meals every night as DH only wanted things like soup or a sandwich, cleaning, childcare (i am including taking care of DH who turns into a bit of a manchild when ill and kept texting me from bed asking me to get him a drink etc) and working full time. It was hard work and frustrating but I got on with it. I had hoped for a little gratitude but since DH has been better he hasn't even acknowledged the extra work I have done and continue to do as he has been out so much since he got better.
Last Saturday he went to meet a friend for breakfast, came back at lunch time. Monday he went out to watch the football, Friday went to the cinema, last night he went to a 60th birthday and this morning he has gone for breakfast again.
I don't usually mind as he doesn't usually go out this frequent but the fact that I have done so much whilst he has been ill and his payment to me appears to be to leave me to continue in the same way, picking up the slack whilst he enjoys himself, has wound me up a bit today.
I this is compounded by the fact that the only opportunity I have had to socialise recently I had to turn down because he was not well enough to care for DS.
I am going to tell him how I feel but I don't to argue about it so I thought I would get it off my chest before I speak to him.
He is usually great, helps around the house, splits bedtime with me etc. I guess I feel a bit taken for granted. I expect to be treated like a princess when we go away this week!

ZansForCans Sun 26-Jun-16 12:03:33

I'd be pissed off too, he's behaving very badly - but you're letting him do this. How can he just swan off to these things when you have a child to look after? If DS is his child, there should be a deal that you both get the same amount of free time doing whatever you fancy. So he should be checking with you if he wants to go out for an afternoon, and then you get the same back another time. You have a situation where he thinks he can just do what he likes while you carry the can.

Ordering you about while he was ill was not good, but he's still being a manchild (or teenager) now.

It's time to stop letting this happen then moaning about it, and tell him you insist on a fair deal. Write down all the chores and make sure he does enough that you both have the same amount of spare time (i.e. if you are a SAHM with no pre-schoolers at home, then it's fair that you would do more, but you should both still get the same amount of free time). Also keep track of how much time he spends having fun while you pick up the slack, and make sure you take that much time for yourself too. If that's not possible, then he should be doing less of it.

RosieandJim89 Sun 26-Jun-16 13:50:55

I do let him get away with it - not so much the manchild bit when ill, I say no to many demands, but only because he never complains when I go out is great prior to this virus around the house and with DS.

The thing is, I have only one friend in this city and the rest other 2 are an our away in my home town. I suppose thats why I never get out really. I am going to have a word am make sure when we get back I get more time to myself, even if it is on my own.

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