Thnks you all for replying.
Well. It's been quite the past 10 hours for revelations then.
There's a total of 53 separate transactions between Adultwork and Toddandclare.com, sum totalling just under GBP £1,877 or thereabouts (maybe slightly more due to the US currency conversions on Todd and clare), all going back to Christmas 2015.
The biggest transactions are one for £350 in early January and another on 29th Jan for £300--both transactions from Adultwork, though again I can't see which part of the AW maze he's been using. The remaining ones on his Santander statement are all scattered sporadicly across different dates, but it does certainly amount to REGULAR use. And, it doesn't mean or rule out that he wasn't using a different card...
In addition to this money, I can also see a large withdrawal amount at our local Tesco ATM for £200 at 11.43pm at night going back to early February, I can't remember what I was doing though on that night. DH sometimes does go out late for walks though.
If it's an escort, then she's local and I'm assuming these larger amounts will be the ones... though I've been reading how Adultwork has a "credits" system a bit like a giftcard... so my sister said it's within the realms of possibility that he's "loading" his account and then paying for small transactions in Adulwork's "DirectCam" service... or private images as @GoodGirlsGuide suggested above? Maybe.
I don't have any access to his other accounts to confirm either way, so I don't know for sure what the real extent of my husband's use on Adultwork is and I know he will never tell me. Even if confronted with what is now pretty damning PROOF of seeing escorts in my opinion.
My husband has clearly payed women for sex of one sort or another, and virtual encounters of at least a "dating" nature on a foreign website.
I and my sister def think this Toddandclare.com site is more than just "dating". Some of the women on it are posing taking mirror selfies in their knickers, so one doesn't need a degree in psychology to work out what that site is about. American escorts or phone sex workers, maybe? Though unlike Adultwork I can't find anywhere on Todd and Clare's website where it's promoted as a sex service in anyway and I guess its possible this is just American girls?
To add insult to injury, looking at the books of our small biz, DH has successfully claimed some of this back on VAT. Which doesn't bear thinking about what that means in terms of HMRC. I'm still reeling from the shock and my sister is talking about me seeing a solicitor....
Still can't believe this is happening.
To go on:
About half of the other AW transactions look like repetitive small transactions (almost like an autopay maybe??) of between 30 to 50 GBP... for example he clearly was busy on Xmas Eve/Xmas Day/Boxing Day. Racked up 7 separate £30 transactions, all one after the other on 24th of December,... wow.
And to think he had told me he had turned in early feeling sick:) We/he had his parents and brother over during Xmas and I even made him his favourite soup with tomato basil and sourdough bread on Xmas eve. sigh. This is particularly memorable because I had agreed to be chauffeur to our son and his friends for their park football on 23rd Dec, and wanted to give him some space. What a deluded idiot I have been.
All the internet cache has been cleared, except there is one twitter account that has clearly been added at some point to the Chrome bookmarks bar and also appears in his Firefox history for a "MissDelores" on Twitter: twitter.com/miss_delores. Yes.
Reading just her first tweet with her schedule of payment methods said everything I need to know. My husband has clearly been leading quite the secret life.
In a clearer light of day today, this is beginning to explain a whole bunch of other behaviours I've seen from my husband over the past 5 months, both inside and outside the bedroom.
It dawns on me now how over the past few months I've noticed him using Google Chrome's invisible feature (with the little detective shadow in the corner) when he's been working on the accounts, but it obivously hasn't worked because all the @MissDelores twitter pictures when I opened them go immediately to a 200% zoom of her bare feet.... Yes.
As for how all this was found out in such a devastating blow...
It was actually the Todd &Clare transactions that first caught my eye because they're in USA dollars and Santander helpfully double posts the transaction on the bank statement with US currency conversions underneath.... I was trying to work out for our business why he had foreign $US dollar currency exchanges on his statement... then googled the statement address led me to a pandora's box:
www.toddandclare.com/instructions/
Each woman on Todd and Clare can "store up to 3GB of private videos and pictures for stamp members she grants free access". hmmm.
Though I can't find the pricing for "stamps", it clearly takes UK cards, see bottom of that page with the credit card icons: www.toddandclare.com/instructions/
God knows what he's been doing in all these Todd and Clare transactions on his card statemnet. Clearly sexting or holding phone chats with American college girls parading around in their knickers..., most of them look young enough to be his daughter.
Actually it looks like Todd and Clare has an "international" option on their sign up page to put men in other countries in contact with women in various American states via some kind of phone messanging system, I can see "Kik and whatsapp" mentioned on the above page... and how interesting that for a man who finds it difficult to send messages on his own phone and pretends not to want to use Facebook, he was asking our son to help him download Facebook messnger and "SnapChat" not long ago. Maybe not related to Todd and Clare/Delores but I doubt it.
I don't have anythign against the women on either Adultwork/Delores or Todd and clare... the problem is squarely with DH. If either of AW or T&C had been static, non-interactive porn (like youporn, pornhub etc) it wouldn't have bothered me as I can live with that fine, but this is not porn. This is NOT okay.
These are interactive sites that are clearly sites facilitating a sexual relationship offline and I am calming myself and taking a few days to work out next steps. Thank you again for all the helpful responses, though I am totally at sea at the moment in bewilderment and there is no chance of me being able to repair the heartbreaking annihilation of my trust, my devotion, my years of faithfulness to a man who is clearly not the man I married.. I'm also not stupid enough to believe that any of this is an accident.
Will keep you posted.