Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Limbo during separation. Still living together. WWYD?

(3 Posts)
StarsAligning Thu 23-Jun-16 16:38:00

It's a good 6 weeks post conversation. We did a couple of counseling sessions to help us initially. He said all the right things but a week later said he wasn't prepared to move out because he was worried about falling ill again. His crisis team thinks that another move will cause major problems.

So after I thought about it I suggested that I move out and buy a house on my own for me and the kids. I don't want anything fancy. We own a rental property so we'd have to sell that. It will be tight and I'll have to go full time. He can stay in our family home, which is size able.

Now he says he doesn't want to sell the rental property and if I'm unhappy with still living here, he's not stopping me moving out. I would have to rent. I kind of think he wants to keep the rental for his pension. He doesn't have one. I will get a small pension but not enough to live on. I also get the impression I would have to fork out for everything myself even though I contribute more monthly to joint finances. He has his own business and he tops up when we're low in the account. I don't know about his finances as I never really asked. I never thought I'd be in this situation. He's started asking about me increasing my contribution but most of my wages go into the joint account.

I think he wants to keep living together and has said he'll avoid me if that's what I want. I think he thinks maybe I'll just relent and go back to normal. Has anyone successfully lived together whilst separated?

I don't know why I'm asking really. I know the answer. We have a 10 and a 12 year old. There's lots of other shit too but this is the most recent shitsad

StarsAligning Thu 23-Jun-16 16:39:36

Oh and we are married

adora1 Thu 23-Jun-16 16:45:25

Why put yourself through torture, it won't work living together but being separated, there's money there so go see a solicitor and get it sorted, it will be hard to begin with but you are going to have to face reality and sort out your finances one day, I've never heard of a couple living separating and being happy, it always ends up vile, do it now whilst you are reasonable amicable.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now